Pages from Hatter's Notebook
by smiles2go
Summary: Based on And Dream Away AU, these are one-shots of Hatter's memories, expanded from pages taken from the Notebook he wrote to show Alice the truth of his life.
1. Chapter 1

End of the World

_AN: Standard disclaimer, I own nothing except my own characters. Based on And Dream Away AU, these are one-shots of Hatter's memories, expanded from pages taken from the Notebook he wrote to show Alice the truth of his life. These will make more sense if you read And Dream Away first. Rated M because on future pages there will be some very M stuff going on. Most of Hatter's life is M._

Ran across the garden straight to the tallest tree, me father's favorite hat clutched in one fist. Only a few minutes to make it to the top if I wanted to see the suns set over the lake between Double Peaks.

Up, up and up I went, an eleven year old boy climbing higher than the sky, hat clenched in me teeth. Perched between two branches, plopped the hat on me head and pulled a couple smashed cream cakes from me pocket. Watched the little paper cups fall to the ground.

I'd made it in time to see the light turn the lake into a rainbow of color. It was the most beautiful thing ever. Except for me mother's eyes.

Like today, when she was standing on the porch, when I'd run home from the stables to tell her father was coming soon, ran down the drive between the trees all golden and bright. Standing there with her hand up shading her eyes, watching me run with a smile.

"Hello mum!" I stopped short of hugging her, too old for that now, not a little boy anymore.

"Hello David. Are you hungry?" Silly question, I was always hungry. "I've made cream cakes for tea."

"What kind?" Didn't like the banana ones.

"Lemon and orange. David?" She looked out over the pasture. "Who are those poor people?" Dozens of people were putting up tents, huddling in the chill air.

"Father said they were refugees from the mountains, come to get on the shuttle. The King said they could stay there for tonight."

"Is the Queen sending them food?" She asked but I shrugged because I wanted cream cakes.

She nodded and smiled down at me ruffling me hair. Her eyes were soft and full of love. It's the last clear memory I have of me mum.

But high up in the tree, I licked icing off me fingers and watched the light fade and the first stars peek out.

Mum carried the tray out in the garden and set it on the big iron table. Me father would be here soon and I needed to get down and put his hat back first. Mum stood at the table and looked around.

"David!" She called. "David, it's time for tea!" I laughed and watched the top of her head. Watched her look for me.

The ground shook and she grabbed the tray. I could hear the cups tink from up here, the cream pitcher tipped and spilled across the table.

"David!" she cried out and I almost answered her, but me father stood in the doorway.

"Did you feel that?" He asked. "Tremors are coming more often. I think we should get on the shuttle tomorrow."

She shook her head at him. "I'm not all packed. I can't decide what to take and what must be left behind." She looked around. "I don't want to go." She said so softly I almost didn't hear her. "This is my home. Our home."

The wind shook the tree and tinkled the leaves. An eleven year old boy can be anything in the top of a tree with the wind on his face and his father's hat on his head.

"David!" Me father called, looking straight up in the tree at me. "Is that me hat on your head?"

"Yes, father!" I called and started down. Suddenly a fissure opened and in seconds half the house was swallowed. Liquid fire flowed out and the mountains shook.

Me tree swayed leaning away from the house. "MUM!" I screamed trying to hang on.

"David!" Mum screamed running towards the tree. More fissures opened and lava bubbled out blocking her path. Me father ran to her and held her in his arms, they stood on an island amidst the lava and fissures and fire. The house was burning, the fields were burning. Even the smaller trees were aflame.

"David!" Me father screamed. "Run to your mum's brother! Your uncle will get you on the shuttle!" He held mum close and didn't turn around as the rest of the house fell and was gone. Me tree tipped and crashed clear of the fire and lava.

"MUM!" I screamed pushing thru the branches and looked around, but it was all gone. Me mum, me father and me home. The world was on fire.

Ran down the drive leading to the stables, past the pastures. Brutus ran along the fence screaming in fear. He was the King's great white stallion, father of all the colts in the stable.

Rearing, his great hooves came down crashing into the fence.

Jumped on the fence and onto his back. Someone had left on his bridle, but I could only reach a handful of mane. Stuffed me father's hat down me shirt and kicked me heels into Brutus. We cleared the broken fence with a handful of mares following.

The stables exploded into flame and the sound of horses screaming was louder than the scream of the fire. There's no way I could get to me Uncle's, so I pulled on his mane, turning Brutus toward the shuttle. It was parked on the tiled pavement near the lake. We raced away from the hungry flames.

There's only small fissures now, nothing Brutus can't jump. I had no real control over Brutus and when we got to the shuttle, pulling on his mane barely slows him down.

Someone grabbed at the bridle, but Brutus doesn't like strangers and reared up to stomp him. I screamed pulling on his mane, backing him up enough to miss the man. Everyone is shouting and people stream past us up the ramp. Something explodes and even the officers run.

I slipped off his back and jump the mile to the ground, grabbing the bridle and rubbing his nose, trying to calm him. The mares are snorting and bunching behind him, afraid of everything.

Another man runs to grab the bridle and I yell at him to stop. He won't come for you. The man looks at the great horse and nods.

"Follow me boy." He leads the way up the ramp and we walk up, someone forcing the people to stop and wait while the King's horses are loaded. I took out me father's hat and held it tight. The horses are more important than one grubby little boy.

Inside he leads us down a ramp to where stables have been setup. I clip a lead to Brutus and to the wall and use some of the hay to wipe him down, talking softly all the while. Someone puts the mares in stalls beside us.

We feel the shuttle shake as it takes off. No one comes and I cry meself to sleep in the hay.

Uncle found me there in the morning, after we'd docked with the ship. He stood there looking at me and sighed. He didn't care much for little boys.

"Come on then." He took me to his apartments and cleaned me up. "I don't know what's going to happen David. The King is dead." Shook his head. "He was here, on the ship when the cataclysm hit, but went back for the Queen. No one could stop him. Neither of them made it."

He stared down at one silent little boy in confusion.

"You can stay here with me in my private stasis unit." Shook his head. "When we wake, we'll be at our new world. In time we'll forget this and have a new life."

Didn't say anything cause there was nothing to say. Everything was gone.

I had nothing but me clothes and me father's hat. I would never forget.

_AN: this is all done with total disregard for any valid scientific fact re twin suns. Cake recipe is definitely worth the effort and the 10,000 calories. This one is Emeril's._

**Italian Cream Cake ****(From Beth Lott's Mom)**

Emeril Lagasse, 2002

**Ingredients**

For the cake:

1/2 cup shortening, room temperature

1 stick butter, room temperature

2 cups sugar

5 eggs, separated and at room temperature

2 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup buttermilk, at room temperature

2 cups shredded coconut

1 cup finely chopped pecans or walnuts

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

For the frosting:

1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, at room temperature

1/4 cup butter, softened at room temperature

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 (16-ounce) box powdered sugar, sifted

3/4 cup finely chopped pecans or walnuts

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325º F and grease and flour 3 (9-inch) cake pans. (You can also do 4 or even two for a more stable cake.)

Cream the shortening, butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the egg yolks 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Sift the flour, baking soda and salt together onto a sheet of waxed or parchment paper. With a mixer on low speed, add the sifted ingredients in batches alternately with the buttermilk, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff, and gently fold into the prepared batter. Add the coconut, pecans and vanilla and fold into the batter. Divide the batter among the 3 prepared cake pans and bake for about 25 minutes, or until golden brown and a tester comes out clean when inserted into the middle of each cake. Allow the cakes to cool in the pans for about 10 minutes before turning them out onto a wire rack to finish cooling. When the cakes are completely cool, stack the layers with the frosting and frost the sides and top.

While the cake is baking, prepare the frosting. In a large bowl combine the cream cheese, butter and vanilla, using an electric mixer, beat until smooth and creamy. Add the sifted powdered sugar and mix until thoroughly combined. Add the nuts and fold together. Keep refrigerated until you are ready to frost the cake.


	2. Chapter 3

_Alice- This is the real reason they call me Hatter. The ugly story of how David Carrington died and didn't stir till a pretty girl in a very wet dress walked in me office._

TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTE BAT

I'd seen them before, the band of raggity boys, sneaking around the building where me Uncle lived. Followed them sometimes, snuck up on them and listened to them talk. I knew their password was Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat. How I Wonder What You're At. One said the first part and another answered the second verse. I don't think they even knew the rest of it. None of them went to school, wasn't sure any of them could even read.

Of course all I had to read now were me Uncle's books. Nothing interesting except that little volume of poetry hidden behind the others. Musta beeen a gift from some girl called Anna. Someone wrote, _with love from Anna_ inside the front cover. Saw him take it out one night when he thought I was sleeping. He just ran his fingers over the cover and sighed. Put it back without opening it. I read it the next day. Just poems, a few pages were worn and creased, but nothing special.

Uncle went to work in the mornings and was gone till late at night. And then he was cross as crabs. Not much patience for a silent little boy. I left for school when he left and walked around the block and back again.

There were no other people living in our building, it was falling to bits like everything else. I'd been thru all the apartments, me hand unlocked them all. I'd seen the raggity boys try, even the older one with cold grey eyes. He didn't come out much, and the others deferred to him instantly. Not someone to cross. He was always playing with a long sliver of a knife. The others called him March.

They stole what food they could find, always one step ahead of the Suits who seemed to be the Queen's enforcers. She wasn't a real Queen anyway. Our Queen died a thousand years ago, lost in the fires.

I liked to listen to them talk at night, when they told stories. Some talked about their families, some repeated stories of things they heard. It's how I learned about life here on the ship. One night I'd stayed too long, got in a hurry and made a noise.

March had me by the shirt collar in a second. He held me up like a puppy, looking me over. The others crowded around to poke and stare.

"Well." March said."What a nice surprise." He had a funny accent. Nothing I'd ever heard.

"Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat." I said twisting around to look at him.

He leaned his head to the side and grinned slowly. "How I Wonder What You're At. "So. You wanna join my crew? A little rich kid like you?" He looked around at the others and they laughed obediently.

I nodded. Better than living with me Uncle. I followed them all day anyway and they'd never caught me. Till now.

"Well." He dropped me and I slipped to me knees. "What'd you bring to pay your way in?" The others crowded around, there hadn't been much for dinner.

He patted me pockets and found nothing. Laughed shortly. "No free rides, kid. Get lost." He pushed me down and walked off.

"I can get it!" Shouted after him. "Can open the lock." He stopped and looked back.

"What lock?"

Thought a second and pointed to a random building. "In there."

He looked at the building, back at me. Finally grinned and nodded.

"Lead the way, kid." They followed me to the building and I looked around. Hadn't been in here before. Went up the stairs a couple flights. Some of the doors had been forced open, but lots weren't.

Stopped at the first door by the stairs and looked back at them. It was mostly dark, but I could see them easily. March had a small light shining toward the floor.

"Go on kid." March whispered. "And if you can't, well we can get something for your clothes, even something for your skinny little ass. Plenty people pay for those big brown eyes." He chuckled softly.

Looked at him. Looked at them all, one by one. Turned and slapped me palm against the plate. The door slid open with a snick.

They hollered and pushed me aside, running in grabbing what they could. I watched them from outside, amazed at the greed. I'd thought they were hungry, but none of them even looked for food.

"Hey!" Shouts and lights and Suits. They scattered leaving me standing there. A Suit grabbed me arm and jerked me up.

"Here's one! Rotten little thief! The Queen knows what to do with you!" He laughed and shook me like a rat. There were two more Suits and they laughed too.

"I didn't take nothing!" Tried to jerk me arm free. One of them backhanded me in the mouth while shining the light in the apartment I'd opened.

"Looks pretty looted to me." He stepped inside. Waved the others in and they filled their pockets, careful not to let go of me.

They drug me back to the Palace and gave me over to more Suits who locked me in a cell with some others.

"Hey!" I beat on the bars. "Let me out!"

A man in the corner laughed. "You'll get out tomorrow son. And you'll wish you were never born." The others laughed and came crawling out of the darkness to press me against the bars. The first man stepped into the light from the corridor and I gasped. He was missing an eye and a hand. His hair was dirty and greasy, skin stretched tight across his bones.

"Wot…" took a deep breath. "What happens tomorrow?"

He laughed showing several black stubs of broken teeth. "Tomorrow, son?" He grabbed me right hand with his remaining hand. "Tomorrow, the Queen's gonna take your hand." He dropped me hand and the laughed again. The others too. I swallowed hard.

"But I didn't steal anything!"

"Suit bring you in?" Cocked his head at me. I nodded. "Then somebody stole something and you're paying." Shook his head and went back to his corner. "Not too far from dawn now. You better try and sleep son."

I huddled by the bars, staying in the light and wished for me hat to hold. Then I was glad I'd left it at home. One of these gits woulda taken it for sure.

They took us all at once and made us get in a line. I was second. They marched us up the stairs, up and up to a great hall. A man in a black robe and funny hat waited at the door with a clipboard.

He looked us over and looked at his clipboard. "You've got too many. Only five names on the list." Looked us over. "Who's not on the list?" No one said anything.

"You better figure it out and not keep the Queen waiting." He tapped the paper. The Suits looked at him and shrugged. He sighed and looked at the clipboard again. Looked at us and said "Step forward when I call your name."

No one called me name so I was the one everyone stared at.

"Why isn't he on the list?" He tapped his clipboard. The Suits just shrugged. "He was in the cell with the thieves."

"Fine!" He snapped glancing thru the doors.

"What's your name kid." He dug a pencil out of a pocket hidden in the robes.

Shook me head. Maybe they couldn't cut off me head without me name.

One of the Suits backhanded me and I fell against the wall, blood in me mouth.

We could hear a woman calling querulously from the big room. The guy in the robe jumped and quickly scribbled something on the paper. Looked at me and hissed. "When they call Jim Smith, you step forward kid. That's your name today."

The voice called again and the Suits pushed us into the room, arranged us in a row in front of the redheaded woman sitting in a red chair and told us to kneel. The others knelt down and I looked at them in surprise.

"But she's not a Queen!" I protested. "She's not a real Queen!" A Suit grabbed me hair and forced me down. The others had gasped and every eye was on the fake Queen.

"I've seen the Queen, and she's beautiful!" Spit at her. Someone knocked me in the side of the head. When I woke up, me hand right was gone. The stub was wrapped in some dirty gauze and I was lying in the grass outside the palace.

Stared in shock and disbelief. There was no blood, I thought there'd be blood. Finally made it to me feet and stumbled home.

Uncle was waiting, looking frantic. His mouth opened in shock when he saw me and he closed his eyes. I tried to say something, tell him it wasn't me fault. I didn't steal nothing, but just started sobbing.

"David!" He knelt in front of me and hugged me to his chest. "Oh, David!" Held me till I stopped crying and then pulled the gauze off.

"Let's have a look, yeah?" He turned me wrist over and looked at it, even getting his big glass out to examine it. I glanced down and was sick on the floor.

He picked me up and carried me to the table. "It's ok. Don't look anymore." He turned on the bright lights in the surgery and washed me up some, washed me stub a lot.

"David, listen to me." He looked me in the eye. "I can give you another hand, but you must never, ever tell anyone. Change your name and hide. Never get near the Queen." He looked around, pulling stuff out of drawers. "The ships AE is still connected here. Technology in the rest of the ship is in the same shape as the city." Shook his head. "They destroyed what they didn't understand, and broke the rest."

He laid me down on the stasis table and started pressing buttons.

"No! No, I don't wanna sleep another thousand years!" Tried to sit up.

"Shhh." He pressed me back down. "I'm only going to put you to sleep for the surgery. This stasis unit has other functions. Reconstruction is one of them." He hooked more and more wires and tubes and things to me, finally put laid me wrist in a tray of cold gel.

"Lay still now and when you wake up, everything will be ok." He fit something over me face. I tried to talk, but couldn't move.

He nodded at me and pulled sides out of the table, folding them up to make a top over the bed. He went to the computer and I could hear the keys clicking. I drifted off before he finished.

When I woke, I was laying in me bed, wrapped in a blanket. Sat up and looked around, remembered me hand and looked at it. Held them both out in front of me and turned them over and over. Couldn't tell any difference. It looked real.

"Uncle!" Climbed out of bed. "Uncle!" He didn't answer and I figured he'd gone to work. Found me something to eat and got dressed. Looked outside. There was no proper sun here. No proper day or night. Little blinking lights in the ceiling far above were nothing like real stars.

Slept all afternoon and when I woke it was almost dark. Washed me face and started some supper for me and Uncle. Sat there and stared at it hour after hour till it was obvious he wasn't coming.

Waited for two days. Then packed some bits of clothes and looked around. Checked behind the shelves where the little book of poetry was hidden but found nothing else. A slip of paper was sticking out of the book.

I pulled it out and read it.

Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe

It was many and many a year ago,  
In a kingdom by the sea,  
That a maiden there lived whom you may know  
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;  
And this maiden she lived with no other thought  
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,  
In this kingdom by the sea;  
But we loved with a love that was more than love  
I and my Annabel Lee;  
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven  
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling  
My beautiful Annabel Lee;  
So that her highborn kinsman came  
And bore her away from me,  
To shut her up in a sepulchre  
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,  
Went envying her and me  
Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,  
In this kingdom by the sea)  
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,  
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love  
Of those who were older than we  
Of many far wiser than we  
And neither the angels in heaven above,  
Nor the demons down under the sea,  
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side  
Of my darling - my darling - my life and my bride,  
In the sepulchre there by the sea,  
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Me mum used to read poetry but nothing so sad as this. I put the paper back and hid the book again. Filled me pack with food and commanded the lights out. One last look and palmed the door. I'd come back and check to see if Uncle was back, but somehow I knew he never would.

Walked down the stairs with me father's hat on me head, pack on me back and looked for March.

When I found them, they circled around me silently, staring at me hand.

March came out of the shadows and reached out and grabbed me hand, knocking off me hat. He pulled and squeezed the hand, frowning. He looked at me and grinned.

Another boy grabbed up me hat and clapped it on his head, prancing around.

"Hey! Give that back! It's me father's hat!" But March still had me hand.

"You talk funny!" They laughed tossing the hat from one to the other. "Where'd you learn to talk!"

"Lemme go!" Jerked me hand free and went after me hat. "Gimmee me hat!" They passed the hat and I couldn't get to it.

"Gimme me hat! Gimme me hat! They shouted laughing circling around me. March leaned against the wall, smiling slightly, knife out to clean his nails.

Grabbed the boy nearest to me and knocked him down. He hit head on the stone and lay still. Grabbed the next one and hit him in the mouth. The others jumped me and we went down in a flurry of elbows and knees, teeth and fists.

Finally March stood. "Enough." He said it quietly, but instantly the boys were off me. I stood, torn and bloody, but not the bloodiest. The first boy who hit his head groaned and sat up.

One of the older boys sitting on a ledge had me hat on and March raised his eyebrow at him. The boy looked at March and nodded. "I want the hat."

March looked at me. "I like you kid. If you can take the hat from BillyBoy, you can keep it." He leaned back against the wall and the knife appeared in his hands again.

BillyBoy grinned at me. He was at least 15, 16. Looked him over and remembered everything me father ever told me about fighting and bullies. _"Don't panic, son. Don't let rage take over, think first. Don't look scared. And don't back down. Take a beating if you have to, but don't run. "_

"Gimme me father's hat." Warned him one last time. "Or I'll kill you."

He laughed incredulously and jumped off the wall. "If you're a really good little boy, maybe you can earn it back." The others laughed and stepped back out of the way. I didn't get it, not then.

Backed up as he walked towards me. Dove between his legs, sweeping them out from under him and jumped on his chest while he was still seeing stars from hitting his head against the ledge. Had me right hand around his throat and pounded his head into the stone. Me hat fell off on the first bounce. When he was still, I let him go and grabbed me hat. Stood up and stepped back.

The others crowded around BillyBoy when he didn't get up. "March." One of them said. March looked at me then walked over to reach down and touch BillyBoy. He stood and looked down at him. Sighed and picked up a leg and arm and tossed him over the ledge.

Turned to look at me. "What's your name kid?"

Remembered what me Uncle said about a new name. Looked down at me hat.

_**Hatter. Tell them your name is Hatter.**_

"Hatter." Looked up at March. "Me name's Hatter."

"Well, Hatter." March grinned. "Welcome to my crew."

_AN: Sorry but since I'm not publishing in order, you're gonna have to remember tidbits in Pages and link them up with And Dream Away. Some tidbits that aren't even written yet. LOL. Hope you all figured out who the voice in his head is. He can open any lock because he was one of the original colonists on the ship. Those born on the ship were never programmed into the computer system. Please make my day by R&R._


	3. Chapter 4

_Alice – I guess Jack already told you about the cost of running a Tea Shop. I know me back looks like hell and hurt worse, but on the whole, the benefit-cost ratio worked. Wasn't often, time to forget in between visits. And I had the bottle of little pills to relax me muscles and blur the mind. A strong back isn't the only qualification for running a Tea Shop though, the profitability ratio must meet the Queen's demands, by any method necessary. Me Shop was VERY profitable. A dreamer born every minute._

**THE PRICE OF A TEASHOP**

She'd been excited all day, couldn't think of anything else. Kept stealing glances at the red briefcase by the door. Her fingers itched to open it and touch all her tools, her instruments of pleasure. Well, her pleasure, someone else's pain. But that was pleasure, giving pain.

Tonight she'd scheduled a visit to Norton's Tea Shop. Norton was an old hand, he knew the score. Sometimes she convinced herself that he loved it as much as she did which is why he'd have to be replaced soon. If there was no screaming, no fear, no hate, no fight in his eyes, what was the point? He'd submitted a long time ago. She liked the fight, the conquering. The look in their eyes when they realized it was going to happen and nothing they said or did could stop it. Coupled with the fact that they'd agreed to it in the first place just made it all the more delicious.

They all thought it'd be easy. A few smacks with a whip. Anyone could handle that. What they didn't realize was afterward, she owned them and they knew it. Owned their souls. They were hers anytime she wanted.

She laughed out loud causing Winston to stop and look at her. He was prattling on about some chart or other. A wave of her hand and he went back to talking to the White Rabbit operatives.

Winston. Now there was a disappointment. He'd been so promising at first, took care of her and the puling brat. Helped her get revenge on the officers that had raped her. But over the years he'd gotten stupid and forgetful. The fool claimed to be sick at the sight of blood. What good was he?

And Jack. She'd tried so hard to make him into a good King, when she was gone of course, not before. She'd taken him on visits to Tea Shops and sat him on a stool where he could see everything. Taught him what to do, and how to manipulate the men into more and more profits. Even let him handle the smaller whips when he was tall enough.

He had such a stony face, she couldn't tell if he enjoyed it anymore. He could flick the sweat off a man's shoulder with the whip and not cut the skin, but what good was skill without pleasure.

The boy must get a perverse pleasure from crossing her. She'd set the Duchess on him years ago, but it seemed he'd turned her and she actually liked him. That wouldn't do at all. She needed someone ruthless, someone to carry out her orders, not cry alligator tears over little Jackie.

No, mustn't think of that. Think of tonight. After dinner she'd take a long soak in the bath, relax her muscles. Maybe even a massage. She'd redo her makeup and hair. Winston would sit around watching screens in his chair, rotting his mind, oblivious to her and her needs.

She'd dress in her favorite red caftan. The one that didn't show blood. Sometimes she got so close, it would fleck on her face. She licked her lips, remembering. Tonight she'd taste it, maybe lick it from his face if he dared look up at her. She swallowed hard and sighed.

He'd be prepared when she came in, kneeling on the floor, face on the tile. Cuffs around his hands and ankles. Chain ready to be raised, lifting him tight, so he could struggle and fight, but not avoid the lash. She'd greet him and open the briefcase. He'd call her Mistress and then rise up to his knees so he could watch as she laid the red velvet cloth on the table and take out her tools, one by one. Lay them carefully down in the order she meant to use them. Sometimes even go back and start over before the finale.

Crops, straps, floggers canes and whips. Braided silk, made to inflict pain, but not break the skin. Red silk, of course. That was her favorite. Who'd ever believe you could cripple a man with silk? The nine-tailed whip always last. The whip kissed the skin, the merest touch, a lover's kiss.

It's important to see their faces. You must see their eyes, their tears, to gauge how close they are to surrender. Total surrender. You don't want to rush and have them unconscious before they submit. No fun it that.

She closed her eyes and sighed. Maybe she could close this meeting early and just go back to her apartments now, have a bit of Dream before it was time to get ready.

_AN: so here's a look inside the Queen's dark and sticky mind. And a bit on why perhaps Jack's a bit twisted and why he rarely touches Alice. Hints and bits of things to come. Please R&R._


	4. Chapter 6

**_AN: to put the dividers back. no change in content_**

_Pages from Hatter's Notebook_

_**Alice—children died in the Barrens. I killed some and I saved some. Judge, Jury and Executioner. Does it balance out in the end? No, I don't think so. Both were right and both were wrong.**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye…**

Stood looking down at her crumpled body. She'd given me a feather six years ago, to pay her way into me crew. Sparrow was the first girl I'd taken in. A pretty little thing, best ghost I'd ever seen. In and out a window before the mark snored twice. And beg? Shook me head. She could cry big alligator tears on at the drop of a hat.

* * *

The boys laughed and jeered when she'd come into our camp. A feather! What good is that? She ignored them, keeping her eyes on me, silently pleading, skin stretched tight over her bones.

Took the feather and put in me hat. "How I wonder where you're at." Nodded to her and glared at the boys who dared complain under their breath.

"She's one of us now." Held out me hand. She looked at it, afraid to believe. Swallowing hard she held out hers, palm up. "What's your name kid?" Took the knife and cut me left palm. Cut her palm.

"Sparrow." She whispered watching the blood well up with big eyes..

"Swear your loyalty to me crew, Sparrow. Repeat after me."

" I won't lie to me crew upon pain of death."

"I won't steal from me crew upon pain of death."

"I won't betray me crew upon pain of death."

She repeated the oath in a whisper and grinned.

Took her hand in mine, blood mixing. Handed the knife to each of them and watched as they all repeated the process.

"Ok. Simon, find her something to eat." Simon was the youngest, the one all chores fell to.

* * *

Knelt to smooth her hair and pull her skirts down. Someone had been at her rough before strangling her. Her nails had blood on them, she'd marked him. We'd find him.

"Simon, bring a blanket." I turned to look at the rest of them, standing staring down at her, all except Simon.

"Here," Rufe handed me her blanket. "She gave me a mirror last year, for me Unbirthday."

"It musta been a Suit!" Simon stared out over the ledge, refusing to look at her. "None of us would do this! No sir."

"She got me a –" someone started.

"What did you see!" Stood and grabbed Simon's arm and jerked him around. He flinched at my glare.

"Nu..nu.. nothing!" He stuttered, eyes wide.

"Then why do think it was a Suit?" Shook him just a bit. Suits rarely raped kids down in the Barrens. They had their choice of Casino girls, Tea Shop girls, rich girls.

"Hatter!" Rufe interrupted. "We're ready." They'd wrapped her tightly in the blanket, eyes covered.

Dropped Simon's arm and knelt beside her again. "She was one o' us. We don't let this go, we don't forget." Looked up at them, one by one. "Yeah?" Simon's face was closed. Simon, Simon. Did you do this?

"Goodbye Sparrow." Rufe said softly. "Fly high"

There was a chorus o' "fly high." And a couple choked sobs.

Touched the blanket, no' wanting to let her go. Took the feather from me hat and tucked it into the top fold. "Fly high little bird." Picked her up and swung her out over the ledge into the sky.

"Find me another feather." Looked at all of them one by one. "A white feather for her murderer."

* * *

"Hatter! Hatter!" She whispered excitedly, tugging on me jacket. "Look!"

"I'm sleeping, Sparrow. Wait till dawn." Mumbled at her, turning away. "I gotta work in the morning."

"No, look now! Look what I got!" She pushed me hat off, making me sit up and grab it.

"Not me hat!" I swore. "What is it, then?" Brushed the dirt off me hat and settled it back on me hair.

She held out the cloth covered bundle. Looked at her and took it. Unwrapped it and sucked in me breath. Touched it with one finger.

"What is it?" She whispered looking around. "It was hidden real good, so I figured it was worth something." She grinned at me, almost jumping up and down.

"It's a teaching machine." Hadn't seen one since I was a kid. Fumbled it open and found a whole case of data cubes. The black helmet gleamed in the moonlight. Looked around at the others.

"You did good kid." I told her, trying to read the cubes. "Real good."

"It teaches?" She looked confused. "Like you teach us?"

"Better than I can teach you! See you pick a subject you want to learn, pop the cube in and put on the helmet and presto, it's in your brain."

"Wow!" She exclaimed. "Does it hurt?"

"Nah. Maybe a little headache for awhile. But it's worth it." Found a cube on piano music and set it aside. Popped the mathematics cube into the machine and picked up the helmet. "Don't let anyone take it off, no matter what happens." I told her and took off me hat. "There's gonna be a bright light." Pulled it down over me head, covering me eyes. The light came, blinding me instantly. I grunted and vaguely heard Sparrow cry out.

Light burning into me eyes, burning the knowledge into me brain. Mathematics would get me a better job at the construction site where I was working part time. Me mum was big on math, me father just laughed.

In a few minutes, the light stopped and I pushed the helmet off. My head was pounding. Didn't remember it hurting like this when I was little. Maybe there was something wrong with it. Tried to think o' a math problem, and the answer was there. Grinned. This would put our crew a step ahead of all the others. The kids would be able to get real jobs, no' end up like so many others. Not like the Rat man.

"Hatter! You ok?" She asked anxiously, a few other kids standing behind her.

"Who wants to be next?" I asked rubbing me eyes, the afterimage o' the light still partially blinding me. No one answered.

"You're all gonna do at least one before we trade it off. Maybe never trade it." I told them.

"Is it magic?" One of the younger boys asked. "A magic hat?"

"It's a teaching machine. Teaches you stuff." I said patiently, rubbing me head again.

"Teaches you what stuff?" Rufe asked coming up behind the boys. "What is that?"

Looked up at all of them and frowned. Magic? They'd never seen a teaching machine before. I couldn't quite grasp it. Had things devolved so much so quickly. The little ones couldn't read, but Rufe… Rufe had gone to a school.

"Rufe, what would you like to learn?" Look thru the cubes. Held out a few.

He took them slowly, turning them over in his hand. "Writing, History, Engineering…." He read off labels. "Why would I need any of that?" He dumped the cubes back in the reader box.

"Waste of time." He turned and walked away. Some of the younger ones followed him.

"I'll do one." Sparrow said, sitting down beside me. "They got one on cooking in here?"

Smiled at her and read through the rest o' the cubes, found a couple on cooking and let her pick. It wasn't like we had the equipment or ingredients here, but knowledge would stand her in good stead someday. She could be a chef somewhere.

Held her upright when the first rush of light made her sway and cry out. Held her hands down when she tried to rip the helmet off. When it was done she was crying. "My head hurts Hatter!"

Held her in me arms and rocked her. Was she too young? I was younger when me mum first used the beginner cubes on me. Maybe it was the cubes. None of these were beginner.

"Is there any on med tech?" Terin asked sitting down. She was an older girl, curious as a bat, but standoffish. She had no friends. We were just a stepping stone in her life.

"Sure. I saw a couple. Are you sure? It hurt Sparrow, yeah?"

Sparrow had stopped crying and pushed out o' me lap. "I can see things in my head!" She laughed. "What's chocolate, Hatter?" She grabbed me arm. "I can almost taste it!"

Terin, took the helmet and nodded for me to drop in the cube. She pulled it down tight and grunted when the light came on. Her hands clenched in fists, but she didn't try to tear the helmet off. When it was done, she was gasping for breath and couldn't stand.

"Hurts." She mumbled leaning against the wall. "Oh how it hurts" Tears ran down her face.

* * *

"Rufe, send the boys out, extra rations for anyone who finds someone who saw something. I wanna know what Sparrow was doing last night, where she went, who she was with. She wasn't sleeping with any of our crew was she?"

"Don't think so, but she was always going off alone. She went the highest looking for the special stuff. The good stuff." Rufe looked up at the city towers.

"She found a lot of good stuff, yeah?" A bit of gravel kicked up, that's all that was left. Rubbed me boot across it, smoothing it out.

"What do you want me to do?" Rufe looked at me. "She won't be forgotten."

"No. No, she won't. You know, I always meant to find her some chocolate."

"She woulda liked that." Rufe touched me arm. "Whaddya want me to do?"

Tore me eyes away from the gravel. "Find out if there was a Suit down here last night. If so bring him here."

"No problem." Rufe grinned and turned away.

"Rufe!" I called after him. "He has to be able to talk."

"Now that might be a problem." He flipped the knife in the air and caught it easily.

* * *

"We like the way you teach us, Hatter," Sparrow nodded. "It doesn't hurt."

"I can't teach you all this…." Spilled some cubes thru me fingers. "I don't know all this." Picked up the piano cube and dropped it in. Sparrow watched me in horror.

"No! Not another one! Hatter, it _hurts_!"

Smiled at her and put on the helmet. "Nothing is free and easy, little bird. Don't ever forget that." The light was blinding, but this time the pain was less, maybe because I already had a headache.

"Rufe!" I called him over. "You girls go get some rest. It's a long time till dawn."

He came over grumbling under his breath and I pointed to the floor beside me. He sighed and sat.

"Don't need no teaching." He argued.

"Rufe. You're old enough to understand that this machine will get us out o' the Barrens, get us into a job in the city. Give us a life!"

"I like the Barrens. I like this life!" He protested. "Besides, you're always gonna find another kid needs saving."

"If something happens to me, it's your responsibility to take care o' these kids." Read him some of the cube labels.

"Nothing's going to happen to you." He shook his head at each title.

I found one and held it up. "Ok, this one you won't say no to." Grinned at him.

"What is it, sewing?" He smirked.

I rolled the cube in me palm. "Nope. Martial arts."

He grabbed the cube and rolled it over in his hand, like he could see inside.

"That's fighting right?" He finally looked interested.

"Yeah." He nodded and handed the cube back. "Ok then." He held the helmet over his head. "How bad does it hurt?"

"No' as much as a knife. More than a black eye." Told him pushing the helmet down over his eyes. "You're a big boy." He grunted and clenched his hands together.

* * *

Three white feathers tucked in me hat, just in case. No one came to claim a reward. No one saw anything. Rufe found no Suits had been in the Barrens last night. By noon, with nothing, I lined them all up again along the ledge where Sparrow died.

Sat there on the ledge and stared at them one by one, over and over. They shuffled and asked what was going on. I said nothing, just looking. Rufe finally caught on and grinned. I frowned and he wiped the grin off rolling his eyes.

The others looked around, jostled each other and fidgeted. Simon stood still, eyes straight ahead. Every once in a while, he'd drop his eyes and look at the spot where her body had lain. He curled his fingers into fists and stuffed them in pockets.

"Take off your shirts." They looked at me in surprise and started unbuttoning. Hatter was to be obeyed no matter how stupid the request. "You too, Rufe." He made a face, but obeyed. Only Simon stood there, red faced unmoving.

"Simon? " Shirts in hand, they all turned to look at him. He stuttered and glanced at me. Fear. Panic.

"Any reason you can't take off your shirt?" I asked softly.

"I um… I think I'm getting sick. Better leave my shirt on." He nodded, swallowing.

The others looked at each other and moved to surround him. Rufe pulled his knife and touched the point to the soft spot under his chin. "Help him out." He said softly to the others who started ripping at Simon's shirt. His eyes were glazed, his mouth open staring in terror at Rufe who was grinning at him.

"Look!" One cried pointing. They backed away as I stood and walked toward them. Rufe stood back. Knife at the ready.

Two boys held out Simons arms. Thin scratch marks covered his forearms.

"Anything you wanna tell me Simon?" Clenched me fists so I wouldn't touch him. No' yet.

"She made me do it!" He cried pulling his arms away. "It was her fault!"

"Her fault?" I asked gently. "She forced herself on you and you had to strangle her to save yourself?" Someone snickered .

"I just wanted to kiss her. She started screaming and she wouldn't shut up. Someone was going to hear her. She just wouldn't shut up, Hatter."

"But you didn't just kiss her." Rufe said playing with his knife, just like March. I frowned at him.

"She…um. She was struggling and … and it just…sorta happened?" He shrugged.

"Sorta happened?" Looked around at the others. "You just sorta raped and strangled Sparrow. One o' us? One o' me crew?"

"I…" He looked for a place to run.

"Run. Go ahead kid. Run." Rafe grinned.

"You lied to me Simon." Shook me head at him. "What's the penalty for lying?"

"Death." Me boys answered together, all but Simon.

"You stole from Sparrow. Stole a kiss, stole something she wasn't willing to give."

Frowned at him. "What's the penalty for stealing?"

"Death."

"You betrayed me. You betrayed Sparrow, all of us." Clenched me fist to keep from shouting. "What's the penalty for betrayal?"

"Death."

"Death. The penalty is death. Do you deserve to die, Simon?" He shook his head frantically, daring to hope. "I agree." Nodded at him.

The others drowned me out in their disagreement. Even Rufe looked at me in surprise.

"Death is too easy, too quick. Sparrow suffered quite a while." Shook me head. "No Simon. I think …. I think you're gonna learn to fly."

He panicked, running into the wall o' boys, looking for a way out. They jumped him, each trying to get a few punches in. Simon was screaming, begging crying.

They pulled him to his feet. "Did Sparrow beg?" I asked him. "Did she cry?"

"Nooooo! You can't do this! No! Stop! Help me! Please Hatter!" Simon screamed.

Held out me right hand. He fought them, but they pulled out his arm, holding it toward me. I took his hand and opened his fist.

"All you listen, listen to Simon as he sings and remember what happens if you cross me, or one o' me crew." Pulled out one white feather from me hat and closed his hand around it. Held it shut with me right hand

"Me gift to you Simon. More than you left Sparrow. A feather to fly with." Swung him up with me right hand, up and out. Sang a long way, our Simon.

* * *

_AN: Poor Simon. Justice is quick on the streets, down in the Barrens. Allusions past and future….. Please R & R!_


	5. Chapter 7

Pages from Hatter's Notebook

_**Alice-Remember the rabbit head thing chasing us? He used to be March. He took me in his crew, fed me, taught me to survive. Swore an oath to him and then I betrayed him. See, he loved this girl , but she liked to make him jealous, played a dangerous game. She was the first girl I ever slept with, had the most amazing long hair. I hope he never knew. Left him to die alone surrounded by Suits and then…. then I smashed that rabbit head abomination into a million pieces, killing him twice. **_

**The Beat of Madness**

Ever since I'd used Hatter's damn teaching machine, my head wouldn't stop pounding. Drums pounding in my brain. And the whispers. At first I'd thought the whispers were part of the program, so soft, so seductive, had to concentrate hard to hear them. Now, they're almost as loud as the drums. **Guilty! KILL 'EM.** Over and over. So I did.

My kill rate has reached 100%. I can track a spider in the dark and pin its legs to the ground, one by one. Drums and whispers are a small price to pay for that. None of them can come close to my record and if some poor schmuck gets in the way, that's his bad luck. I got enough bad luck of my own.

Knew she was bad news. Knew and didn't care. She was beautiful and I loved her, especially her long, straight auburn hair. She wore it in a single braid, hanging down kissing her ass with each step. Sometimes she'd let me comb it out with my fingers, sitting behind her on the bed. Then I'd wrap my fist in it and twist her down, taking her from behind. She liked it hard and fast or up against a wall, legs around my waist, screaming as loud as she could.

As one of the Queen's assassins, I had an apartment and a bed. A real bed to sleep and play in. Play with Jilly. She made the whispers and the pounding stop for awhile

I knew she was with other guys. Took to following her, couldn't help it. Wasn't my fault if they suffered a fatal…accident soon after. Didn't slow her down though. There was always another one, then she'd come back to me.

Couldn't believe my eyes when I came around the corner and she had Hatter backed up against the wall. Stopped in surprise and watched as she kissed him thoroughly, watched as his hands slowly came up and went around her. She had one hand in that damn messy hair, knocking his hat to the ground. He didn't even notice. Her other hand was working his belt buckle. _**Guilty**__._

She giggled and looked over her shoulder right at me. Hatter stood there a second longer, eyes still closed, mouth half open. Idiot. _**KILL' EM**_

"Hey March." She stepped away from him without a backward glance and walked toward me holding out her hands, short little skirt swinging. Hatter's eyes flew open and his mouth worked as he tried to think of something to say.

"Hey baby." She took my hands and pulled me away. Smiling up at me, swinging the braid.

"Jilly." Watched Hatter till we went round the corner. _**KILL' EM**_

"Isn't he just the sweetest thing?" She laced her fingers between mine and I forgot Hatter. Wouldn't kill him anyway, one of my boys. A funny-talking, little rich kid, a long time ago when I had a crew down in the Barrens.

Not unless he touched her. No one touched her and lived, no one.

She pushed me up against the next crumbling wall and kissed me, the taste of him still in her mouth.

"I'm not wearing any underwear." She whispered wrapping her arms around my neck. "Been waiting for you." She pulled at my arms, lifting one leg up to wrap around me. "Please baby."

Growled and jerked her skirt up, sliding three fingers into her. She moaned and threw her head back, braid almost touching the ground. Thrust harder and harder, other arm tight around her waist. Her nails digging into my arms.

"AHHH!" She screamed. "Fuck yes!" Pulled her tight against me and looked up to see Hatter's shocked face peeking around the corner. Scowled at him and he was gone. Grinned down at her. She'd done that on purpose. Maybe the other guys were on purpose too.

"Take me home and fuck me, baby."

It was a routine hit, nothing special. Since he'd been following me lately, I shoulda expected Hatter to be close.

"TRAP! It's a trap!" He stood and screamed seconds after I'd started towards the tunnel entrance. Turned to look back at him in surprise and the first shot got me in the leg. Twisted around and down, got off a couple shots. Two figures fell. Hatter returned fire giving me time to stumble behind a tree.

For the first time I regretted wearing a turtleneck instead of a tie. Coulda used it to bind the wound. Damn bullet went all the way through the fatty part of my calf. Leaned around the tree and emptied the gun into the tunnel. Finally held up my hand for silence. Nothing. Took a deep breath and stood up, stepped out from behind the tree. Drums pounding in my head.

"Whatcha ya doing here?" I shouted at him. He knew better to than to get any closer, knew to wait till my gun was empty before walking toward me. I could still throw a knife and get him, but I wouldn't. He was just one of many. I knew what she was. Heaven help me, I knew.

But why did it have to be Hatter? The best of my old crew. And why did he keep following me? _**Guilty.**_

"Stop following me Hatter. You coulda got yourself killed." Looked around at him. "How did ya know it was a trap?" Should thank him, but he was just doing his duty as a member of my crew. He'd sworn an oath. No need to thank someone for that.

"I … I dunno. I heard … a whisper." He looked at me and glanced away quickly. Had he been in on it and changed his mind at the last second? Did he hear whispers too?

Limped to the first body, turned him over and ripped off the mask. Not my target. Hatter stood watching near the trees.

The second one was still alive, gasping for breath. Strange, I never missed. Pulled him over and fell to my knees in shock. The mask had slipped and her braid fell out, fell in the dirt.

"Jilly!" Jerked her coat apart looking for the wound. The bullet had been slowed by a thin book. Pulled it out and threw it aside. The wound was deep, but she'd live if I could get her to medical.

"It's gonna be all right, baby. I got ya." Rocked her in my lap. "Help me carry her!" I shouted over my shoulder.

"Hat..Hat..Hatter." She gasped. "Hatter…" Her eyes focused on me and then over my shoulder. I looked around and saw him reach down and pick up the book, He wiped the blood off it and looked at her. Son of a bitch. He was always trying to get people to read a book. _**Guilty.**_

"You bastard!" I screamed at him, shaking Jilly. She cried out and I turned back to hold her to me. "Shhh baby, hold still." Held her in my lap. _**KILL' EM**__._

"No…" He whispered dropping the book, backing away. "No March."

"Changed my mind. Gonna kill ya, kid. Very, very slowly." _**KILL' EM**__._

Shouts in the distance, and a whistle. Suits.

Hatter ran forward, grabbing my arm and tried to pull me up, but I shook him off. "Get outta here!"

"Come on March! You've got to go!" Hatter pulled at my arm again.

"You gotta get outta here, not me. I work for the cow, remember?"

"Jilly's Resistance! You can't hide that! They'll behead her for sure!" He cried looking behind him at the lights coming closer.

"No!" I pulled her tighter. She was struggling to say something. "Gimme your gun." I ordered. "Then get the hell outta here! Next time I see ya, I'm gonna kill ya Hatter."

"Only one bullet left!" He tossed the gun and ran for the trees. Tucked his gun in my lap, under Jilly.

"Over here!" I heard them shout. "They're over here!"_**KILL' EM**_

Pulled Jilly close and kissed her. "Love ya baby. I'll always love ya."

"Hey! March's got one of 'em." _**KILL' EM**_

"It's a woman! Is she still alive?" _**KILL' EM**_

"There's a couple more, both dead. Looks like only one head to roll." He laughed. _**KILL' EM**_

Suits surrounding me, guns down, arms reaching to pull her away. _**KILL' EM**_

"No." I said quietly. "You're not taking her." Smoothed her hair down .

She looked up at me and tried to smile, blood leaking out the side of her mouth. "March? Please….I…" a tiny breath of a whisper. Wiped away the blood and ignored the gun barrel tapping the back of my head. Couldn't ignore the drums though. They were deafening now, almost drowning out the whispers.

"Get up, March. You know the drill." Tap tap.

"Won't let 'em hurt you, baby." Tap tap tap. Soon they'd be in tune with the drums.

"Dammit March! Get the hell up and drop her!" tap, tap. A bit harder.

Shifted my hands around and under her, pulled two knives from my leg holster. One more in the sleeve. Might have time for that. Three of them wouldn't see morning, hopefully neither would I. The other two would take care of that. At least the drums would stop.

"I love ya, Jilly." Kissed her gently and pulled the trigger. That cow wouldn't want her head now.

In one smooth motion two knives found their mark, then the third. The other two Suits mighta fired, all I heard was drums.

_AN: Was trying to make March … human. I figure the Queen didn't behead March, else she wouldn't have kept him for future use. She wasn't that angry at him. But a gunshot or two to the head, now that makes a mess. Might need a cookie jar to fix that._

_That Jilly, bad news all around. Added heaps of angst so that when he finally was revived, March would be one angry, homicidal maniac. Perhaps a reason why he didn't even try to interrogate or torture Hatter. One question and it was over._

_Imagine shooting your love only to find she betrayed you. Imagine, having to shoot her again, kill her so the Queen wouldn't behead her? _

_Anyone know who else had drums pounding in the brain?_


	6. Chapter 9

Pages from Hatters Notebook

_**Alice – As one of your Presidents said, 'don't get mad, get even'. But even the sweetest revenge starts to pall eventually. It makes no difference if it's for your own satisfaction or another's.**_

" Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavor, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned." - **Charlotte Bronte**

**A Dish Served Cold**

Slipped over the wall and saw her dozing under the tree in her garden. Music coming through the window. The roses had run wild again.

"Would you like to dance?" Stood close to her and held out me hand.

She opened her eyes and smiled. Ignoring me hand, she stood and gripped me shoulders. "Is it done?"

"Pretty much." I shrugged. "Needs one more thing to be complete." Held her hands on me shoulders and danced slowly. She shook her head and tried to pull away. She'd stopped combing her hair again.

"Told you not to come back til it was done!" She frowned up at me.

"Oh the seducing and the begging and the denouement? That's all done. "

"Tell me! Don't leave out a thing!" She grinned baring her teeth, letting me lead her around easily.

"I'll give you the short version now. There's a ball at the Palace tonight. You have to get ready."

I got a job as a delivery boy, from there it was easy to observe the members of the court and make the first move. The young Countess, Martine Margrave, was not well liked. She was spoiled and selfish and vindictive. There was another young Countess, Ellspeth. Her sometimes friend and sometimes rival. Elly was soft and sweet and easy.

Once in her bed, it was all chocolate and cream cake. Elly's Count was an older man, way past his prime, more interested in politics than pleasing a young wife. After that it was only a matter of time till I could arrange for Martine to burst in on us….and jealousy was born.

"Damn it, Elly. You were supposed to meet me for lunch …" Martine flung through Elly's bedroom door. "OH! I… I….Elly!" Hands over mouth, she stared in surprise.

Elly was flat on her back, spread like a wishbone, me between her legs, licking her sweet spot while she mewled and cried me name over and over. Didn't pause, didn't look up, just nipped her nub so she arched into the air, bucking into me face, screaming, hands twisting in me hair.

"…agghh…" Elly turned glazed eyes toward Martine.

"What the hell are you doing! Have you lost your mind?" Martine snapped.

I moved up and rammed deep into Elly, taking her face between me hands to hold her still and kiss her till she was gasping. Martine slammed the door on her way out.

Elly found me a place to stay at Court, this sort of thing went on all the time I guess, so I quit the delivery job to become a kept man. Still saw me crew, they needed watching over, especially Rufe. This coulda been an easy life, if I didn't have an agenda.

Elly's Count turned a blind eye, as long as we were discreet. We were very discreet. All hours of the day and night Elly could be found in me quarters, screaming her brains out. Martine was angry at first, then envious. That's when she made her first move.

"So, boy." She sneered at me. "How much is Countess Margrane giving you?" She'd waited till Elly was in the bath and I was fixing us a snack. Strawberries and Champagne.

Lately she had taken to bursting in on us, pretending not to notice I'd left the door unlocked. Elly hardly noticed anything and I ignored Martine completely.

Dipped a strawberry in the champagne and ate it slowly, standing very close to her, watching her eyes, not saying a word.

She swallowed hard and said. "Whatever it is, I'll double it."

Smirked at her and walked toward the bedroom. Elly stood in the doorway, wrapped in a big white towel. "Marty?" She looked from her to me. "What's going on?"

"Nuthin'." I said taking the edge of the towel and pulling her back into the bedroom. She giggled and let me take the towel. Neither of us heard Martine leave.

From then on, we spent time in public torturing Martine. I would make a point to catch her eye and touch Elly, kiss Elly, make Elly sigh, all the while watching Martine, till she was all twisty and her eyes were smouldering. Then I would take Elly back to me bed.

Two weeks later, at one o' the interminable parties, I asked Martine to dance. Well I really didn't ask, I just took her hand and pulled her close to me, slamming her into me chest, and into the dance. She tried to push away for a second, annoyed that I'd interrupted her. But when I licked her neck, she sighed and looked around guiltily. When she had melted against me, I could feel the smirk on her face.

"So. Hatter is it?" She shook her dishwater blond hair back. "Do you really think you're going to get me in bed?" She said teasingly. I didn't answer, just licked her neck again under her ear, and nipped at her earlobe. Her head fell back and she almost moaned. Kept the smirk off me face, but it was hard.

Swept her outside onto the balcony. Danced her down to the end and stopped, turned her around to look down over the garden. Tiny flickering lights on tables where people sat eating and drinking and laughing.

Stood behind her, pressing her tight against the balustrade. Nuzzled her neck, licked and blew warm breath across the wetness. She let her head fall forward and I knew she was mine. Slid me hands around to tease the edges of her breasts.

Took her arms and placed her hands wide apart on the balustrade, so she was leaning over. Slid one foot between her legs and pushed them apart.

"What are you doing?" she whispered trying to turn around. Held her hands down and kept her tight against the balustrade. "Shh." I whispered "Wave to Elly." Elly was down in the garden, sitting with her Count.

Martine's dress had miles and miles of skirt, enough for me to lift it up from behind, without anyone in front being able to see. She gasped and pushed back, trying to twist around.

"Shhh. Look at them, Luv. They can see you up here. Yeah?" Whispered in her ear, licking her neck again. "Hold onto the rail, yeah?" One hand squeezing her ass, sliding between her legs to stroke her till, she moaned and moved against me hand. She was ready.

Moved her underwear to the side and slid two fingers into her. She moaned louder and pushed back against me. Opened me fly with me other hand. Ripped her lace undies, thrust into her and waved to Elly who smiled and waved back.

Martine gasped and her elbows bent farther, almost letting her fall. Wrapped a hand around her waist and held her still, pounded into her till she cried out and would have fallen forward without me hand around her.

Pulled out and fixed meself. Dropped her skirt and walked away, leaving her there. She was still bent over the balustrade breathing hard when I joined Elly in the garden. Lifted her hand and kissed it, taking her back inside to dance without a backward glance at Martine.

After that, I ignored her again, spending all day and night playing with Elly. Finally Martine grew angry enough to confront us, thinking to make Elly jealous or angry. But I'd told Elly what I was gonna do before the party and she laughed at Martine.

After much screeching and name calling, Martine was in tears, running for the door. I followed Martine and stood behind her, one hand holding the door locked with me palm on the plate.

"Why are you doing this? I don't understand." She turned under me arm and looked up at me, pale blue eyes wet with tears. I wiped the tears with one knuckle and kissed her. She sighed and leaned into me arms.

"Come with me." She whispered. "Come to my rooms."

"Ah, Luv." Wet kisses up her neck. "Come back and play."

"What? I…" Kissed her till she couldn't breathe and her knees were weak. "No…no.. with Elly?"

"Come to bed, Luv." Pulled her toward the bedroom, holding her eyes. She resisted at first, shaking her head but taking a step then another. Scooped her up and carried her, kissing her the rest of the way.

It was easy to let Giovanni catch us. Let him walk in on us while she was begging me to fuck her. And even after she saw him, she begged me not to leave, screamed at him to get out.

"Marty! No…" I saw the look in his eyes. The pain, the tears, the denial and finally despair. He loved her. Bloody hell.

I left, knowing I'd destroyed something precious. This wasn't fun anymore.

The Dowager Countess refused to go to the ball.

Ran her a bath and had to pick her up and dump her in the water over her protests. Easier to give a cat a bath. She gave up and sat quietly after I poured a basin of water over her head. Washed her slowly with the scented soap I'd brought, taken from her own closet in her former court apartments.

"Where did you learn to dress a lady's hair? The Count used to love to comb my hair."

Finally relaxed, she sat in front of the mirror while I pinned her hair up with jeweled pins. The jeweled pins from her old jewelry box. "You've been busy this summer."

"Yup. " Looked her over critically. "I've brought concealing makeup if you want to cover the scar." Held out the jar while she thought.

"No. I want them to see what she did. I'm not ashamed of being ugly anymore."

"You were never ugly." Touched the scar gently. "She's not half the Countess you are. Never will be."

Pulled her up to stand and pooled the dress on the floor for her to step into, petticoats nestled inside. A beautiful concoction of red velvet and silk. Her own dress I'd brought from court. The new countess looked insipid in red and hadn't touched her mother-in-law's things.

"I see you spent your time learning to be a lady's maid." She held onto one arm while I pulled the dress up, lacing it tightly in back.

"A little learning never hurt anybody." Grinned at her in the mirror. "You look stunning."

"I don't know…are you sure about this?" She bit her lip examining herself. "What if…"

"Don't you want to see for yourself? See how far she's fallen? I'll take her from him there if you want." Smoothed the skirts down over the petticoats and knelt to slip the golden slippers on her feet.

"He took her back?" She frowned down at her bare hands. "He never visits me."

"He loves her." Shrugged. "I'm never falling in love. Hurts too much." Brought out the handful of rings I'd brought, her own rings.

She chose several and slipped them on. "Don't say that." She smiled up at me. "When you fall in love, everything is bright and new. Nothing is impossible." She said glancing wistfully at the piano. "There's nothing to compare to the feeling of being in love."

"Not from what I've seen." Shook me head. "Besides, you…we had sex all the time."

"Never confuse sex with making love. Sex can be like a fine wine, something to be enjoyed. But when you find the one, it's not just sex." She shook her head. "It's as different as night and day. Pleasing them is your only thought."

"If you say so." We were wasting too much time. We were gonna be late.

"Listen to me." She laid her hand on me arm and looked up at me. "For one more day with my Count, I would give anything, do anything!" She said with an intensity that I'd never seen before. "When you find the one, it's like finding the other half of your soul. You become whole." She smiled sadly. "It changes you."

"No thanks." I grinned. "I'm doing ok as I am."

"You'll see." She smirked. "I hope someday to meet your love." She sat at the piano and touched a key. Just one.

"I better get dressed, we don't wanna be late." I'd brought a black evening suit, 'borrowed' from one of the matron's at court. Her husband would never miss it. Tried to comb me hair down, but she laughed and shook her fingers through it, carefully setting the top hat at a jaunty angle.

Held out me arm and grinned. "Me Lady."

She went into a deep curtsey. "My Lord."

"No. I'll wait for you over there." Pointed to the far corner.

"Don't be nervous, she's just a woman. Like me." Held me shaking hand tightly. I wondered which one of us was the most nervous. She tugged on me arm, when I refused to budge.

"I'm not bowing to _her_." Scowled. "Don't see why I have to go through the receiving line with you, I'm no' a lord."

"You are my escort. What's the matter with you?" She stepped aside to let others pass us. They whispered to each other looking back at her. "Anyone would think you were terrified to greet the Queen!"

"You don't understand, I'm no' bowing to …_her_." Stood me ground, glaring at everyone.

"Stop it." She smoothed out me frown with one finger. "It won't hurt. I promise."

"Ilsa….Countess…" I pulled her farther out o' the way. "I can't… I just…can't." Pleaded with her.

"Shush. You made me come here. You're causing a scene." Tucked her hand in me elbow. "She's already seen you. You may as well come on."

Sighed heavily and looked around. They were all staring at us. Bloody Hell. It would cause more attention to leave now. Took a deep breath and pasted a smile on me face.

"Good boy." She whispered, pasting her own smile on.

I'd worried for nothing. The Queen barely glanced at me. No one had eyes for anyone but the Dowager Countess.

"Countess Morgrane." The Queen smirked. "We've missed you these last few years, Ilsa."

"Majesty." She went into a deep curtsey, dragging me half down with her.

"What have you been doing….out in the hinterlands?" The Queen tittered exchanging glances with others near her.

"Oh you know. This and that. Planting a rose garden." She smiled gently. "Training a lover." Wicked glance up at me, frowning slightly as me mouth fell open. Snapped me mouth shut and grinned.

They laughed and I blushed. She knew how to handle them. And maybe me.

"Your old apartments are empty, I believe. You have our permission to return." The Queen nodded and turned to the people behind us.

Breathed a sigh o' relief and pulled her away. Away to the dancing and drinks. I needed a drink.

"There see, no harm done." She laughed up at me. Grinned back and went to get two glasses. When I came back, she was surrounded by people. Stood there watching them eating out o' her hand.

She looked up and saw me. "Have you met Hatter?" Held out her hand and they parted to let me through and stand beside her. Ilsa sipped her glass.

"Yes." One of the women sighed causing the Countess to look at her in askance.

"Hello, Luv." Kissed her hand. Her husband spluttered and I looked up all innocence. The tux looked better on me than it would've on him.

The matron blushed and turned to the Countess. "How long have you known Hatter?"

"Ohhh. A good long time." She ran her hand up me arm. "Right darling?"

I almost choked and wanted to pinch her, but she was having such a good time. "Yeah. That sounds about right." Put me arm around her and pulled her into a little hug.

"What!" The matron frowned at me and I winked at her.

"We just reunited after a little …spat." The Countess slid her arm around me waist and squeezed me butt. Looked down at her and shook me head, grinning. So I was her boy-toy. Laughed out loud and pulled her hand up to kiss it.

"Ah, Luv." Kissed her knuckles and looked at the others. "Couldn't live without her."

"Hatter!" The current Countess, Martine pushed through the crowd and stood frozen, mouth agape. Giovanni at her heels. "You!" She caught sight of Ilsa.

"Mother." He clicked his heels and bowed slightly to Ilsa. "Come dear, we can talk to mother later." Took her arm but she shook him off. He ignored me completely.

"What are you doing here!" She glared at her mother-in-law. "Who gave you an invitation?" She spat. "You're not welcome here!"

"I did." Still had Ilsa's hand so I kissed it again.

"Hatter?" How could she put so much anguish in one word. She looked around in confusion "How? Why?" She was almost in tears. Giovanni tugging at her arm again.

"I think this is our dance." Pulled Ilsa out on the dance floor and swept her away without a backward glance.

"Nooooo!" Heard a heartbroken wail behind us. "Hatter!" Poor Giovanni trying to hold her back from following us.

"Oh Hatter!" Ilsa looked up at me, wickedness laughing in her eyes. "That was so _very _delicious!"

"Was it worth it?" Glanced down at her with a question in me eyes. "Worth all the work?"

"Work?" She looked confused, then the laughter died and she looked away.

"Teaching a street kid from the Barrens how to seduce a lady. Taking him into your bed till he got it right Yeah?" Sounded bitter, even to meself. Took a deep breath.

She stared at me a long moment and smiled slightly. "Yes." Pulled me tighter and laid her head on me shoulder. "Yes." She whispered.

Much later, I was watching her dance with someone, laughing up at him, just like she laughed up at me. Sighed and decided to leave, but she caught me eye and grinned over his shoulder. Tipped her head to the left. Looked left and there was Martine dancing with Giovanni. Lifted me eyebrows at Ilsa and she nodded eagerly.

Finished me drink and walked closer to them. Martine had been watching me while I was studiously ignoring her. Her eyes got bigger the closer I came. Stopped and held open me arms.

She stepped away from him and rushed into me arms. Watched Giovanni over her shoulder. He dropped his arms and walked away slowly, shoulders slumped, not looking back. Couldn't Ilsa see this hurt her son a thousand times more than it hurt Martine?

"Hatter!" She held me tightly and I swung her into a dance. "Why are you with _her_? I don't understand."

"Didn't you hear, Luv? We're …together." I said lightly.

"No!" She whispered fiercely. "Not her! She's an old bitch!" She swallowed tightening her fingers in me coat. "I'm the Countess! You can't want her!"

Shook me head down at her. "Luv…you don't understand."

"Please Hatter." She begged. "Please come back." Her eyes filled with tears. "I'll leave him! Anything you want!"

"Luv…" Wiped a tear away with me thumb. "Listen to me." Looked around. Ilsa was standing a few feet away, a slight frown on her face.

"No Hatter! You can't be with that old cow! She's old! She's ugly! She's…." her voice had risen to a screech. People were turning to look.

"She's a lady." I said quietly and left her standing there to sweep Ilsa into me arms and away into a waltz. Martine stood there tears running down her face before running wildly through the dancers.

"Well?" I asked. "You have your revenge. Was it all you hoped?" She looked up at me and shook her head.

"Somehow it's not as good as I'd thought." For the first time her eyes looked old.

"Do you want me to do more?" Forced myself not to sigh, not to react.

"No….No I think I'm done." She smiled half-heartedly.

"Good." I nodded.

"I'm tired." She closed her eyes. "Will you walk me back to my old apartments?" She stopped and stepped back. "I think I'll stay here awhile."

"Will you miss your rose garden?" I asked walking her out of the hall and down a corridor.

"hmmm?" she looked up. "Yes. There's peace in the garden, there's never peace here."

We stopped at her door, palmed it open for her. "Had them all reset back to you too." I said as the door slid open . "You have everything you wanted now. Our deal is done. Guess I should thank you. Or you should thank me."

"Will you stay?" She stepped inside, turned to look up at me.

"Is there someone else you want revenge on? Something else you wanna teach me?" I snapped. "Sorry. I just..." Took a deep breath, tried to forget the look in Giovanni's eyes.

"Hatter." She said softly touching a button me shirt.

Closed me hand over hers. "Yes, Luv?"

"Stay." She whispered. "Stay because you want to."

_AN: A revisit to the Countess was requested by Alaina Downs, as was Hatter getting to see what's it's like to be in love. He sees both sides and is still convinced the cost is too high. Yet in the end, the price he pays is much, much higher._

_This takes place before Hatter learned to enjoy revenge. Or maybe it's different when it's your own revenge. Hope you all enjoyed it. Please R & R. _


	7. Chapter 11

Pages from Hatter's Notebook

_**Alice—I was in London for the Blitz. Did I help? Did offer anything? No, I stole food and guns, already neatly packaged and ready to go. Teleported it home for me own people. Me own profit. Ran away while the city burned. **_

**Boy in the Mirror**

Woke a couple minutes before 4 a.m. Twenty-five minutes to make it to the meet. Threw the covers back and found the girl is still in me bed. Rub me eyes and get up. Maybe she'd still be there when I got back.

She murmured sleepily and I pulled the covers over her head. "Go back to sleep, Luv. You're dreaming."

Quick shower and put the kettle on. Lights out in the kitchen and I peeked thru the blackout curtains. Air raid sirens and booming in the distance. The sound of bombs tearing London apart. It'd been going on for over a week now and was hampering me movements. Time to wrap up this operation.

We needed the guns and ammo, but the risk assessment was far too high to continue now. This one last job and that's it. We'd be out o' here and back on the ship by morning. Move the goods and back at work by tea time.

Rufe's bed hadn't been slept in. Bloody hell.

Outside the bombers had arrived and the night turned into nightmare, explosions o' fire and sound. Sirens, guns, bombs, explosions, shouts all blended together to form the death screams of London.

The fires were getting closer. Shivered and pulled me coat tighter. Hated fire.

* * *

Truck and men waited at rendezvous point as planned. I checked a couple boxes while they kept lookout. The one supposed to be watching me, kept ducking every time a bomb hit. Laughed and took out a rifle, fired up into the air. Fired at a target. Seemed ok. Stripped it down and put it back together.

Glanced up to see Rufe in the tower window, rifle at the ready. Wouldn't cheat them, wouldn't be cheated either.

"Ok then." Took the little bag of gold coins out of me pocket and set it on the tailgate. One of them dumped the coins out into his hand and glanced up at me. He stuffed the coins back in the bag.

"Kill 'im" He nodded to the others. Tipped me head and me hat fell. Before they could get their guns up, the little bag of coins exploded, scattering everywhere.

"See, me mate don't like being cheated." I grinned and picked up me hat. They looked around and spotted Rufe.

Walked around to the front of the truck and climbed up. Drove off and left them standing there staring up at Rufe.

* * *

"That's the last of it." Rufe rubbed his shirttail across his forehead. The guns had been carried through the teleport and were safely on the ship. They still had to be hidden and dispersed out to the Resistance.

"Ok, gather your things and go through."

He nodded and looked around. "What about you?"

"I've got to see about the girl."

"Hatter, it's getting bad out there. Sooner or later, this house will be hit."

"Don' argue."

* * *

It took a couple hours to say goodbye to the girl and make sure she was headed to a shelter. Gave her one of the gold coins for luck. After shutting the door behind her, I saw Rufe's pack still sitting beside the door.

"Rufe!" Ran up the stairs to check his room. "Rufe!" Down to the cellar to check the teleport. "RUFE!" Nothing. My pack was still sitting there. He wasn't in the house. Sighed and went back upstairs and stood looking out the front door. It'd be dark soon, and the bombing would start. I'd wanted to be gone before then. Bloody hell.

Where the hell could he be? Should just go and leave him. Bloody hell. Walked to the corner and looked up and down. Nothing. Turned around and walked to the opposite corner. This one 'felt' right, so I walked on to the next corner. "RUFE!"

Heard a muffled shout and started running. Seven of them still standing, rough looking men. Rufe down on his knees, face a mess of blood and bruises. One o' them bent over him, a fist in his hair exposing his neck, holding a knife to his throat.

Looked around and saw the girl, a crumpled heap by the wall. Dice and money kicked aside, one lone gold coin gleaming in the dirt. Bloody hell Rufe.

"Rufe?" Walked closer. "For crying out loud, there's only seven o' them. Are you sick or something?"

The one with the gun, spun and aimed it at me, grinning when he saw me standing there with me hands in me pockets.

"Get lost, boy. None of your business."

"Not my fault!" Rufe spat blood. "They raped the girl."

"It's never your fault." Shook me head and looked at the one with the gun. "That right? You rape the girl?"

"I said get lost, boy." He cocked the gun and took a step toward me. "Unless, you got the gold?"

"Put the gun down, we can all get what we want here." Tried to reason with them first.

"They raped her Hatter. She's only sixteen." Rufe choked. "Then that one," He pointed his eyes to the one with the gun. "He strangled her."

"Don't think so mate, we want your friend's guts on the ground. Then we'll take the gold." They all laughed. "Girl's just a streetwalker." He shrugged.

"Rufe. How many times to I have to tell you no' to…" fired the pistol in me pocket and made a nice little hole between the gunman's eyes. He fell with a thud and all of them stepped toward me, except for the one with the knife at Rufe's throat.

"That's no' gonna happen." I said softly. "Rufe?" He nodded slightly, barely able to see out of one eye.

"Think you're gonna take us all?" the one with the knife asked, throwing his mates a look o' disbelief. One o' them scrambled for the gun so I shot him.

Took the gun out o' me pocket and held it on them with me left hand. Learned long ago to shoot with me left and keep the right free for emergencies. There was always an emergency.

"Come on, don't be shy." Grinned at them. "Who wants to volunteer to be next so's to give your mates a chance?"

"Mate, you just can't shoot all of us in cold blood!"

"Mate, that's just a little girl. You think I can't?"

The one holding Rufe growled and stood, throwing the knife and one motion. Leaned me head back slightly and caught the knife. Flipped it in me hand. "Dammit Rufe, can't you even hold on to your own knife?"

They gasped and looked at each other. One stood, dropped a short club and stepped back. We had a runner.

'Uh uh." Shook me head at him. "Way too late for that."

"Come on. He's just a kid, he won't shoot us in the back." He stammered.

Rufe sat there, grinning trying to wipe blood out o' his good eye. "Wouldn't be too sure." Rufe got to his feet and walked over to pick up the gun on the ground. "And if he won't, I will."

The four left all took a step back, looking at each other.

I handed him his knife and he stood staring at his blood on the blade for a second, shrugged and wiped it off on his pants. When it was clean, he tossed it in the air, all eyes following it up, flipping end over end. When it came down he caught it and flicked it at the one who'd held it to his throat, burying it deep in his left eye.

The others gulped and took another step back. Wasn't sure how many bullets were left in either gun.

"Come on mate, we were just having a little fun." One of them tried to grin.

"Yeah?" Nodded at him. "I'd like to have a little fun too." Shot him through the heart.

The other two, turned and ran. It's just as easy to shoot someone from the back as well as the front.

Rufe retrieved his knife, cleaning it on the guy's jacket. I jerked a coat off one and laid it over the girl. Never saw her face.

The air raid siren started to scream. Looked around the alley and shook me head. What a waste.

"Rufe." Grabbed his arm as he started to walk past me.

He grinned. "It wasn't my fault."

Busted him in the mouth, wiping off the grin. He went down to one knee.

"Hey! What was that for?" Looked up at me in surprise holding his jaw.

"For two bloody bullet holes in me jacket pocket. That's what." Held out a hand and pulled him up. "For making me have to rescue your sorry ass one more time."

"Thanks." He grinned sheepishly. "But, I had everything under control."

"Come on, I want to get out o' here." Put me arm around his shoulders and started back to the house. "Make sure you put that gold coin in the bag with the rest."

"Wha…What?" He stuttered.

"Think I didn't see you pick it up? We'll talk about this later."

* * *

Just because I don't mention the burning buildings, the burned out cars, the broken light poles, the dust and the rubble in every sentence, doesn't mean they weren't there. This place was hell on earth and I was sick of it.

The bombs hit. One after another. Over and over. We ran.

* * *

"Help me!" Someone screamed, I turned and saw the boy. Saw meself. A dirty-faced, dark-haired boy with dark scared eyes. Terrified of the fire. Part o' the building had fallen and he couldn't get free. The rest of it was on fire.

The bombs were getting closer, stupid to go back for one dirty little boy. Sighed and ran back across the street ignoring Rufe's shouts. Me right hand lifted the chunk o' concrete and pulled the boy out with the other.

"Get to a shelter!" I scream and run back across the street.

"Please mister! Wait!" He cried, limping after me. Blood dripping from a cut on his head. Bombers very close now, he'd never make it.

Hesitated, looking back at the boy, couldn't leave him. Held out me hand and he grabbed it, stumbling thru the rubble. Half-drug him up the steps , down the hall to the kitchen and down the basement stairs behind Rufe.

He tripped and fell, jerked out o' me hand, disappearing under the steps as the house fell in on us. Flicked the control on me wrist as Rufe dove for the teleport.

"Hold on kid! I'm coming!" I yelled fumbling with the control strapped to me wrist. The whole city could fall and the teleport beam would still be there when switched on.

Made sure Rufe was through and turned back to frantically dig me way into the steps. Found one hand and jerked. The boy came free and I held him tight and jumped for the teleport beam.

Slammed into the brick wall in me New York loft. Covered in dust and soot, still cradling the boy in me arms. Rufe standing over me shaking his head.

The boy was unconscious, probably from the large lump on the side of his head. Laid him on me bed and shut the door.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Rufe shouted in me face. Looked at him and he backed off. "Hatter…" He said in a milder tone. "What have you done? How're gonna explain this to the boy? We're in another damn country!"

"Keep your voice down." Stripped off me shirt. "I'm taking a shower." Stopped at the door and looked back at him. "You have to get back to the ship and take care of the guns."

"Hatter!" He'd found a beer in the fridge and was chugging it. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Take a shower first." Slammed the door and peeled me clothes off. They smelled of dirt and blood and fire. Somewhere I'd lost me hat. Bloody hell.

We ate a little something before I sent Rufe back. He didn't want to leave me, wanted me to tell him when I was coming. Wanted to know what I was gonna do about the boy. Promised I wouldn't do anything stupid.

* * *

The boy stood in the doorway listening to me play the piano.

"What's your name?" Asked him softly. He looked terrified.

"David." He whispered. Closed me eyes. Of course it was. Blimey. "What happened?"

"The house fell on us and landed on your head. I brought you here to rest. Are you hungry?" Stopped playing and looked at the boy. Bloody hell.

"Yes." He nodded.

Sighed and went to the kitchen. Scraped some eggs into a plate for him and looked for something a kid could drink. Put the kettle on for tea. Wrapped a cloth around some ice to hold against his head.

He scarfed the eggs down, eyes watching me carefully. Ice on the table, melting.

"Want more?" He glanced down at the plate and back at me and reluctantly shook his head no. "Where were you going?" Handed him a mug o' tea and sat down across from him with me own.

He shrugged and blew on the tea.

"Home?"

Shook his head, "Gone."

"Parents?" He shook his head no. "Anyone?" Long look and then another quick shake.

"Do you want me to take you to a shelter?" Finished me tea and got up to pour another mug.

"Will the bombs come here?" He looked around, looked straight into the living room and out the wide open widows and frowned. Bloody hell.

"No." Tried to think of something to distract him. "Is there anything you'd like to know?"

He looked around, looked at me and took a sip of tea.

"Yeah." He said softly. "How's come you're wearing a hat in the house?"

I burst out laughing and rolled the hat down me arm. He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"They call me Hatter." I said holding out a hand to shake his. He looked at me, looked at the hand and slowly put his own in it.

"Do I belong to you now?" He whispered, not looking near as frightened as he should. I frowned. What had happened to this kid?

"Did you used to belong to someone else?" I asked carefully, sitting back down at the table. "Besides your parents?"

He nodded, eyes down. He lifted one shoulder . "Ran away." His fist clenched around the mug.

"I see." Me own fist tightened around the mug and it shattered, splashing tea everywhere. The next few minutes were filled with cursing and wiping.

"I seen you." He whispered when I was seated with a new mug of tea. "Seen you shoot those men. Seen you catch the knife."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Her name were Cindy." He took a tiny sip of tea. "She were nice to me." A ghost of a smile flittered across his face. "I'm glad you shot him!" he said fiercely.

"That's something you need to forget." Looked at him over the mug frowning slightly. Along with other things it seemed.

He shook his head no. "Won't forget." Another tiny sip. "Will you teach me?"

"Teach you what?" Bloody hell.

"To defend myself. To fight back." He looked up pleading. "I'll do what … what you want. Just please… teach me." He pushed the chair back and stood looking at me.

"David." Sat me hat on the table and raked me hand through me hair. "First of all, there will be none of _that_... going on." Took a long drink and tried to think. "To teach you to defend yourself, you'd have to come back to me home."

He looked around and said "Ain't this your home?"

I looked around and smiled. "Yeah, but not me real home. Just a place in the city. This city."

"Oh." He nodded. "Ok."

"It's not that easy." Rubbed me eyes. "If I took you home with me, made you part o' me crew, you wouldn't ever be able to come…to go back home."

"Crew?" He asked. "What's a crew?"

"How old are you David?" I ask setting the mugs in the sink. Turning, I leaned against the counter and watched him.

"Eleven." Blimey. Shook me head. What more of an omen could there be?"

"Have you heard of Oliver Twist?" Crossed me arms over me chest.

"Me Mum read some of it to me." He smiled. "It's about a boy like me with no place to go. Are you…" He stepped back, to the other side of the chair. "Are you Mr. Bumble?"

"Nope." I grinned. "I'm Fagin."

"But Fagin stole things!" He shook his head. "He weren't very nice. My mum said stealing weren't nice."

"Me mum said the same thing, but you do what you must to survive. It wasn't very nice to shoot those men. It wasn't very nice what they did to Cindy." Shrugged. "It's not a very nice world." He looked around.

"But you'll teach me how to defend myself?" He looked up at me with big trusting eyes.

"Rufe is the best at that."

"The other man, the one you saved? The one that got the stuffing beat outta him?" He shook his head. "No thanks."

Laughed and agreed. "Rufe is the best with a knife. Perhaps not the best at thinking ahead."

"There'll be none of that…_that_ stuff?" He asked solemnly.

"Can't promise someone won't try it someday. But I promise you'll know what to do to stop it."

He thought about what I said for a long time and finally nodded his head.

Held out his hand to shake on it. "If you teach me how to fight, how to kill, then I'll steal for you."

Took his hand and grinned. "I'll teach you what I was taught-how to survive."

"Deal." He said shaking me hand with a grin.

"Ok. First thing, you're gonna need a bath." Looked him up and down. He was in worse shape than I'd been.

He looked down at himself and grinned. "Yeah?"

"Bathroom's through there. I'll go out and get you some clothes. We'll go when I get back. Yeah?"

Watched him go into the bathroom without a backward glance at me. Sighed and pulled me jacket on, frowning again at the new holes in the pocket. Bloody hell.

I'd leave it up to fate. If the boy was still here when I came back, then I took him. If not…. Well then I guess he wasn't meant to go.

_AN: Young David of course refers back to one of the Dreams Hatter had while in Dee & Dum's clutches. Will he show up again in another page, or be lost in history. Poor Rufe, always in the wrong place at the wrong time. When you see bits and pieces of someone's life, you can see how they all tie together._

_Thanks to all my faithful reviewers! Hope you like this one. Please R & R_


	8. Chapter 10

_**AN: Being revised only to add page dividers!**_

Pages from Hatter's Notebook

**What Doesn't Kill You**

_**Alice—I wish you could've known March before he went mad and became a psychopathic killer, before the Queen messed up his mind. I loved him like a brother. He took care of us as best he could. Taught us to survive, at any cost. If I hadn't taught him to read, he never woulda qualified for the Queen's program. He woulda been horrified to see what she turned him into.**_

WARNING: If you're squeamish, don't read. A young Hatter is barely saved from assault. And there is blood. Lots and lots of blood.

Found the kid sitting on a tower ledge as high above the Barrens as he could climb, higher and farther than he'd ever gone before. He hadn't come back for supper and I worried, wouldn't admit it, but did. The only one of us with any real education, Hatter was a dreamer. He'd go off and waste whole days reading a book or staring into space, when he should be out working. That's a good way to get dead in a hurry.

It's not that he was unwilling to work, or that he wasn't good at it, but there was always this distasteful look in his eye when he handed over the day's bounty. Never had to worry about Hatter hiding a goodie in his pocket, or stuffing his face before getting back to the camp.

He learned quicker than any of the others. Only had to explain things once and he got it, was even able to explain it to the younger ones so they understood. Came up with ways to make it easier.

The kid was stronger than he thought, a survivor. Would make a good leader if given half a chance. Capable of so much more than dipping or begging. Who'd of thought the little rich kid woulda turned out so well?

Tonight he was sitting there, book beside him, staring out over the city. Didn't see the tears till I sat down beside him. He tried to swipe them away with his hand so I pretended not to notice.

"Missed you today." I finally said. "Saved you some supper."

"Sorry." He ducked his head and grinned. Another swipe at his face. "Not hungry."

"Good book?" Picked it up and riffled through the pages. No pictures.

"Ok I guess." He looked at the book and then down at his hands.

"You ready to come home?" Handed the book to him.

"Not yet." He looked up. "It's still today." He said in a small voice. Another swipe.

"What's today?" Was it a holiday? Couldn't remember, things like that didn't touch you down in the Barrens.

We sat there in silence so long I thought he was never gonna answer. Finally he whispered something.

"Come again?" Leaned closer and bumped his shoulder with mine.

"Birthday." He whispered a bit louder.

"It's your birthday? Your real birthday? Hey." Bumped his shoulder harder. "Why didn't you tell us? We coulda had a party." Hardly anyone knew when their real birthday was. I was forgetting Hatter had a real life, a real family before joining my crew.

"No." He shook his head. "Wanted to remember."

"Remember what?" Like I said, a dreamer.

"Me last birthday party. Me home. Me mum and dad." He started sobbing and I put my arm around him, holding him tight to my side so he didn't fall off the ledge.

"We're your family now. Your brothers." I told him.

He shook his head, but the sobbing slowed and finally stopped.

"Yeah. You don't get to pick your family, you didn't get to pick us." Lifted his hat and rubbed my knuckles on his head. "I'm the only one that gets to pick who's in our family." Pushed his hat down over his eyes and leaned back. "Picked you."

He adjusted the stupid hat and looked at me. "Yeah." His dark eyes were still shiny with tears.

"Yeah." Grinned at him. "Wipe your face and let's go home."

He pulled his shirttail out and scrubbed it across his face. Stood and held me hand out. He took it and jumped lightly down to the grass.

"March? You won't tell the guys will ya?" He looked up at me. "They'd laugh."

"What? That you were crying your eyes out like a little baby? Nah. It'll be our secret." Grabbed his hat and took off running.

"Hey!" Shouted over my shoulder. "How old are you." Tossed his hat high in the air and watched as he stood there, looking up, moving slightly trying to catch it on his head.

He adjusted his hat and grinned. "Twelve."

Twelve. I remembered twelve. Turned and walked away, not wanting him to see the sudden rage in my eyes or the snarl that filled my throat.

"Hey, wait up!" He shouted and ran after me. By the time he caught up, I was calm again.

We walked and went down in companionable silence till we reached our hideout, camp really, in the basement of an abandoned warehouse. Plenty of exits in case of well, you know.

* * *

Two weeks later, I found Hatter on that same ledge, reading to Dormie and Rufe. They were sitting spellbound as he read some adventure story, putting in all the sound effects. I stood behind them a long time, enjoying the story, till a wiggling in my pocket brought me back.

"So." I said leaning against the wall and pulling out a knife to play with, "I see you're working hard this afternoon." They jumped and Rufe grabbed Dormie who threw his hands up in the air and would've gone over the edge.

"March!" Rufe and Dormie fell backwards off the ledge and lay there staring up at me in terror, scrambling to get their feet under them.

Hatter grinned and closed the book, but didn't jump down.

"Get outta here!" I shouted at them and they ran. Rufe looked back, but didn't slow down.

"Hatter." Shook my head at him. "You gotta let the boys work or nobody eats tonite." Sat on the ledge beside him.

The wiggler made a noise and Hatter looked in askance, but didn't say anything, just pulled out the blue kitten and handed it to him.

"Here." Shook the kitten lightly when he didn't reach for it. "It's a …birthday present." Embarrassed, I set in his lap and looked away.

"Oooow!" The kitten sank l its claws in Hatter's leg. He pulled it loose and held it up to look in its face. "Hello, you." He whispered turning shining eyes on me. "I can keep it? Really keep it?"

"Wouldn'ta given it to ya, if not." I said gruffly. "But you better not tell the boys I give it to ya." Petted the fur with one finger.

"It's the best thing I ever got!" He hugged the kitten, rubbing it against his face. "Thanks!"

"You better watch someone doesn't skin it and roast it some night." Laughed at the look on his face. We'd eaten worse at times. Luckily we never had to trade with the Rat man though. Not yet.

"I wish….." He looked up at me grinning. "I wish I had something as great to give you."

"About that." Took a deep breath. "There's something I was wanting."

"Anything!" He promised, making little noises at the kitten. "Anything you want March."

"It has to be a secret. You can't tell anyone. Just between us." Touched his arm to get his attention. "I mean it, Hatter. No one can find out."

"Sure. Okay." He grinned up at me. "Whatever you want."

"You're stupid beyond belief kid." Frowned at him. "Never agree to nothing without knowing what it is!" Smacked him up the side of his head.

He rubbed his head and grinned at me. "I trust you March. You said we were brothers. You'd never hurt me." He laughed and jumped down careful of the kitten.

Jumped down and smacked him again. Grabbed a fistful of his hair, knocking his hat to the ground. Bent down and jerked his shocked face close to mine. "Damn fool! Never trust nobody! Especially your brother! Only your brother can get close enough to stick a knife in your back!" Growled and shook him in anger.

"March?" He whispered, eyes huge, not even trying to escape. Dropped him and turned away clenching my fists, taking deep breaths. "March?"

"Sorry." I grunted "You've got to learn, kid. Or you're gonna get yourself killed." Picked his hat back up and plopped it on his head. Sat on the ground and leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes.

"March?" Could hear him sit beside me. "March?" Sighed and rolled my head to look at him. Opened one eye. "March?"

"What?" Closed the eye and sighed.

"What was it you wanted?" If someone didn't knock that trust out of his eyes, he'd never make thirteen.

"Can you keep it a secret?" I asked again. "Can you?"

"Sure." His shoulder bumped into mine.

"And you'll do what I ask, no questions asked." Kept my eyes shut, hands in my pockets.

Silence, then I heard him get up and walk a few steps away. Opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Yes." He grinned. At least he was learning to stay out of my reach. Shook my head and laughed at him.

"Get your book kid. I want you to teach me how to read."

"But…"

"No questions, remember?" I interrupted.

"I remember." He put the kitten in his pocket and picked up the book.

* * *

We met up there a few times a week, depending on jobs. He brought other books, books on guns and knives, on fighting. I don't know where he got them and I didn't ask. These were things I wanted to know, needed to know. I could get a real job, have a real life.

* * *

Was half asleep when I heard the boys arguing. Pulled the blanket over my head and ignored them. It'd been a very late night. Something about a pet. Hatter must've let them see the kitten.

"Little pet! Little pet!" they chanted. "March's little _pet_." They jeered. I sat up frowning. "March's little _favorite_."

"Shut up!" Hatter shouted. "Shut up!"

"We know you sneak off together. Billy seen you sitting up there, side by side. We know what you're doing! Little _pet_." Woody laughed and knocked Hatter down.

"Shut up!" Hatter shouted. "You don't know nuthin!" He scrambled up and swung at them but they kept out of his reach, taunting him. Woody and a couple of the older ones.

"Then whattcha doing up there Hatter? Whattcha doing with March?"

"Nuthin. Ain't doing nuthin!" He screamed.

""Little pet! Little pet!" The young ones started chanting again. Stood and walked toward them, fists clenched.

"Are you a good boy, Hatter? A real _good boy_?" Woody jeered. "Does March like it when you're a _good boy_?"

Grabbed him by the neck, shaking him like a rat, even though he was tall as me and almost as old.

"What I do is none of your damn business! What Hatter does is none of your damn business! Got it?" I growled, still shaking Woody. They all stared back, eyes wide in terror.

Looked back at Woody, listened to him choking. Brought him up close to my face.

"You looking to be a _favorite_, kid? Looking to be a _pet_? Cause I can teach you what that's like, being a _pet_." I chuckled. "Hurts a bit, at first. But I'll soon have you following me around like a puppy. Is that what you want, kid?" I asked softly.

He shook his head frantically, too terrified to speak. Grunted and threw him down in disgust. Looked at the rest of them, one by one. Terror, panic, alarm and horror.

Hatter sitting on the ground, both fists in his mouth, finally understanding. Shaking his head, eyes filled with sorrow, he looked up at me and let the tears fall.

"Don't be joking about something you know nothing about. Ain't gonna be none of _that_ here, not in my crew. Got it?"

They all nodded their heads frantically.

"GOT IT? Screamed at them.

"Got it!" Waited til they all answered.

"Hatter's not one of you back-street by-blows. He don't even know what you're talking about, not really. Don't want to hear nothing like this again. Got it?"

"Got it!" They shouted. Woody stared at Hatter, not meeting my eyes.

* * *

Knew something was wrong when I found Hatter's hat lying in the grass along the ledge near the warehouse. Picked it up and looked around. The kid just wouldn't go off and leave his hat, anything else, but not the hat.

Only the little kids were here at this time of day and they sat there in a circle staring at each other. No fighting, no arguing, no nothing. Just staring. When they heard my shoes on the gravel, there was one quick glance up at me and then down at their laps.

"Where's Hatter?" I asked softly, twisting his hat in my hands. "WHERE'S Hatter!" I shouted. They cringed, but only one dared look up.

"I said where's Hatter!" Jerked Rufe up by his shirt collar, ignoring his cry of pain.

"He...he..." He mumbled. Shook him and then sat him back on his feet and squatted down so we were at eye level.

Took a deep breath. "What happened?" I said as softly as I could. The others stood ranged behind him. Rufe looked at his feet and then glanced behind him at the others.

"Said he'd kill us iff'n we said a word." He whispered. He looked at me and I saw the terror in his eyes. "But it was Hatter he took, it was Hatter." Tears flowed out of his eyes and down his face. Bunch of crybabies in this crew. Have to work on that.

Resisted the urge to smash something, anything and touched his cheek. He cringed cause he knew I didn't hold with crying. "Who said? Who took him?" I whispered.

He turned and looked at the others who didn't return his look, except for Dormie who glanced up and nodded.

Rufe turned back around and bit his lip. Swiped his face with a shirt sleeve. "Woody." He whispered. "Woody did it." So this was a challenge to my authority.

"Where'd he take him? What'd you see?"

"Hit Hatter in the back of the head… with a rock." Rufe sniffled.

"Yeah. Hit him and Hatter fell." One of them looked up and whispered.

"Carried him off, he did." Rufe nodded. "We… we followed a bit and he met up with some man." He shrugged, they all shrugged.

"Show me." I stood. "Hurry."

* * *

Could hear Hatter screaming two streets over. Panic had me running faster than I'd ever run before, leaving the boys behind. Woody sat on a low wall laughing and drinking from a bottle. They had Hatter on a small grassy area below the wall.

Two of them, first man behind him, holding Hatter on his knees, a hand in his hair holding his head back, other hand jerking at Hatter's belt. The other man pushing up close to the boy, fumbling with his pants. He backhanded Hatter to shut him up. By the blood on Hatter's face, it didn't look like the first time he'd been hit. Hoped I wasn't too late.

Jumped the wall and kicked into the side of the first one. He fell with a shout of surprise. Things went into slow motion after that. I hit the ground and rolled on my shoulder, knife coming up to cut the throat of the one holding Hatter. Blood sprayed across Hatter's hair, running down his face to mix with his own, sprayed on me, sprayed on the grass. Turned around to finish the other one, slipping in the blood.

He'd gotten to his feet and stood looking in horror at his friend's blood staining the grass. Looked up at me and raised his fists. Looked at the blood dripping from my knife. Screamed and sliced him, cut him and cut him and cut him even after he fell.

Looked up for Woody, but he was long gone. No matter. I'd get him later, when I had lots of time to spend. The smaller boys stood peeking over the wall, eyes wide. Could hear the older boys shouting, running closer. Wiped the blood from my eyes with a bloody sleeve.

Hatter knelt retching in the grass. His clothes were intact, just covered in blood. I wasn't too late. Touched his shoulder and he jerked away in panic.

"It's me kid." Knelt down beside him, held his head and wiped his mouth with my least bloody hand.

"March! he... they..." Hatter started to sob, wiping tears and blood on his sleeve.

"It's ok." Put my arms around him, hugging him. "Shhhh. It's ok now."

"March..." He whispered. "March." He put his arms around me like a small child and sobbed into my chest.

Pulled him into my lap, laid my cheek against his head and rocked him there in the midst of the carnage.

_AN: I know I know. Poor Hatter. Life is rough down in the Barrens. Life is rough everywhere on the streets. No poor March? March isn't any more the villain than Carpenter. Remember, March didn't torture him, didn't slice and dice him, was gonna make it quick. Some distant memory perhaps. All bad things have happened to March, each one another step into raging insanity. Till it's better not to think, not to remember, just hurt them, before they hurt you. Hope you like it, please R & R._


	9. Chapter 8

_**Alice—If someone cheated or stole from me, I ruined them. Utterly destroyed anyone who crossed me. Took everything they had, everything they ever loved. I left them with nothing but a feather to fly with.**_

**A Feather to Fly With**

It was past midnight when Dormie showed me into see Hatter. The room was in shadow, but there was enough moonlight coming in to see Hatter sitting on the edge of the bed, a naked, dark-haired woman kneeling between his thighs sucking him in long, slow strokes. He had a long white feather, stroking her back. There was another one behind him, but I could only see her hands stroking his shoulders, his chest.

Feather. What had I heard about a white feather? Some Barrens street gang thing maybe. Tried to remember while waiting for him to acknowledge me.

"Carl. You wanted to see me?" He finally looked up, hands fisted in her hair, controlling the pace, hips rocking into her.

I swallowed hard and nodded. He hadn't been running the Tea Shop long, he was just a boy. I'd heard plenty of rumors about him. Rule one, don't cross Hatter. He was ruthless and unforgiving, but he had connections, the man who _knows_. Mostly exaggeration, I thought. But I had to try, would do anything to get out of this corner. If anyone could get me out of this mess it'd be him.

"I'm in a bit of trouble, ah sir. I need." Swallowed again. "I need—"

"I know people, Carl. People tell me things. Sign the papers on the table and all your

worries will be over. Well, almost all." He waved the feather at a small table beside the bed.

"Sir? I don't understand. Papers for what?"

"Sign the papers, Carl."

"Sir, I just need to borrow a little, I'll pay you back." I took one small step closer. Not on the grass, they said never step on the grass.

"And just how are you going to pay me back? People say you've lost your home. And the debts? Shall we discuss the gambling …debts?" Hatter threw his head back and groaned, pulling the woman tight against him. "Ah, Luv, that's good."

"Please, sir. I... just-"

"Papers, Carl." She licked him clean and unbelievably, started sucking again. "Sign over everything to me, and your financial worries will be taken care of."

"Please sir." I picked up the papers. What choice did I have. "I can't see." There was a pen and a hyper spray laying beside the papers. My hands were shaking.

"Turn on the lamp." I switched on the small lamp on and looked at the papers, but couldn't concentrate. "You'll take care of everything?"

"Already have. Is there anything you want to tell me?" His voice was light, but his eyes were stony. "I'm trying to help you, Carl."

"No. No, sir." Looked at the papers closer. They gave everything I owned to Hatter. Tears stung my eyes. How had it gotten to this point. "Please sir?" He had forgotten me, concentrating on the woman. Damn his eyes. What did he know about desperation, living high on the hog in a Tea Shop. Couldn't even do business without a woman or two all over him. I signed the papers and laid them back down. Felt a breath of relief.

"There now, that wasn't so bad. Want a little Dream Carl? Just to celebrate?"

"Sir, you don't allow your employees to use Dream." Looked at the spray and felt it tugging at me.

No, I don't. Is there something you want to tell me, Carl?"

Looked up at him quickly. What had he heard. "Uh…No. sir."

"People, Carl. You're forgetting the people." He sighed. "Screen 1. Volume off."

A screen came to life and we all looked up, even the woman tilted her head to glance up.

It was me. Last weekend, me and that blond, what was her name. She was laughing silently tugging me shirt off. Lifting a hyper spray to my neck. Watched myself throw my head back and sigh in pleasure. Who'd taken the vid? How? Was the whole thing a setup? Sighed, there was nothing else for Hatter to take, no point in blackmailing me.

"Screen off." The screen went black. "Carl?"

"I… I wasn't working." Looked back at the door. "Sir."

"I see." He laughed and shook his head. "You were working something Carl. How 'bout some of this? She's very good." He waved the feather down at the woman. "A little going away present."

I swallowed and looked at the woman. The spot of light on the desk, put them in deeper shadow. "Sir?"

"There's nothing like a mature woman, yeah? They can teach you things you never dreamed of." He groaned. "You'd know all about that, yeah?"

"Sir? Can I go sir?" Took one step back. "Need to get to work."

"Won't be necessary. You've been married to Fiona for what twenty, twenty-five years?" He looked up at me and grinned. "Do you love her, Carl? Tell her she was the one?"

"Sir?" Took another step back, swiped my hand through the sweat beading on my forehead.

"Anything you want to tell me Carl?" He groaned again and came in her mouth. She swallowed it all while he smoothed her hair down. "Ah, Luv. Sure… sure you don't want her? She's very skilled."

Shook my head. That was a setup for sure.

"Screen 1, skip ahead 2 clicks, volume 4." The screen sprang to life with a close up of me on the blond, fucking her hard. Screaming 'love you baby' at the top of my lungs. "Screen 1, mute."

"You son of a bitch!" The woman stood up and glared at me, wiping her mouth with one hand.

"Fiona?" No! This couldn't be happening! "Fiona! What the hell?"

"You've got the nerve to 'what the hell', me? Are you kidding?" She sat on the bed beside Hatter and burst into tears. He shook his head and put his arm around her.

"There, there Luv. It'll be all right in a minute."

"Fiona….I" Tried to explain, but nothing came out.

"Anything else you wanna tell me, Carl?" He looked at me. "No? How about Fiona?" He lifted Fiona's wrist and licked it, his eyes on me. She shuddered and quieted, leaning against him. Honey Dust. The girl behind him pushed her hand out and waggled it. Hatter chuckled and licked her wrist as well. She sighed and squeezed him.

"People tell me you lied… lied and stole from me, Carl."

"No! No sir!" Backed up two steps. It was a long way from the front door, but he was naked sitting on a bed. And much younger, a little voice whispered.

"You're a bad liar Carl. The thing about lying is, you have to believe it yourself. Or …you have to have a phenomenal memory. You have to keep the lies straight and you have to live them or you slip up." He grinned.

"You slipped up Carl. You stole from me. You lied to me. And Fiona. Can't let that go. I gave you chance after chance to make it right, but you didn't. So you've left me with no choice. Gonna hafta make an example of you, Carl."

No, I.. Fiona?" She didn't look up. Hatter's hand slid down her shoulder, under her arm to cup a breast.

"You've taken everything! What am I supposed to do now?" Rubbed my hand through my hair. I had nothing left.

"Not quite everything. Hatter tugged on one of the hands on his chest. "Say hello, Luv."

She leaned around to look at me. "Hello daddy."

"No!" I screamed, "No!" My baby, my sweet little baby. It was too much! Fell to my knees. My mind in a whirl of denial and rage. My fists smacked the ground, gouging into the grass.

"You've taken everything! Everything I had, everything I loved. Why? Just cause I stole a little Dream? You didn't miss it!"

"But it was mine." He said softly, shaking his head.

"Look around. You've got everything! Anything you want! I didn't have much, just a little apartment and … and Fiona." Struggled to my feet. Fiona looked up at her name, but her eyes were glazed over and she had a slight smile on her face. She didn't even know I was there.

"You bastard!" I stepped closer and raised my hand. He lifted one eyebrow. Stopped and looked down, rage gone. Tried to think.

"_You _lost all those things, Carl. I ….found them." He grinned, hand still on Fiona. "But I have left you one thing." He sat there staring at me and waited.

"What? What've you left me?" I had nothing, may as well be dead.

"People say you crossed the line. Been giving information to the Resistance." He shook his head at me. "Really Carl, aren't you in enough trouble?"

"No, that's a lie!" Shook my head. "No, please sir, I never…" Kept shaking my head.

"As an agent of the Queen, it was my sworn duty to inform her." He glanced out at the moonlight. "A Club should be here soon." He grinned at me. "Very soon."

"No, sir, no." I whispered. "That's what you left me? A visit to the Queen's Executioner at dawn?"

"Carl, Carl." He stood and walked over to me and held out the feather. "If you hurry you can make it out the front door and to the ledge before the Club gets over the bridge."

I looked at him and at the feather. Now I remembered. Took the feather with a shaking hand.

A feather to fly with. God help me.

_AN: This is my favorite one. Wrote this one before Cross My Heart, and needed to find a reason for the feather. Poor, stupid Carl. Or rather, poor stupid Fiona. Lol. Was he ruthless enough? Cruel enough?_


	10. Chapter 5

_**AN: Revised only to add scene dividers. No change to content.**_

_**Alice-The first woman I conned was a Countess, a dowager countess. A lonely woman banished from Court. I took everything she had and then ruined her son's life. I took his wife and made her beg in front of him. Beg for me.**_

**A Rose Garden**

Watched the boy climb thru the window and glide over to the dresser. His fingertips touching the jewelry and coins. When he turned to go, I could see he wasn't as young as I'd thought, not a boy at all. He wore a porkpie hat and raggedy clothes. He took one more look around and stopped. A quick glance at the door and lights beyond and he walked across the room and stopped beside the piano. Another quick glance at the door and he touched the keys. The merest breath of sound and he sighed. I must have made a noise as his eyes found me in the shadows.

"Want to know why you're still alive boy?" I stepped slightly into the moonlight and he saw the gun. A quick intake of breath was his only reaction. He stood still, one hand frozen on the keys and one hand clutching the few jewels I had left.

One hand opened and the jewels fell clattering on the floor. I knew this trick and smiled, but didn't look down, didn't take my eyes off him.

"Do you play?" I asked waving the gun. He might run, but he wasn't going to hurt me.

He looked down at the piano and back at me and nodded once.

"Play me something beautiful and you can have a coin." I sat on the bed, face still in shadow.

He thought a long moment before pulling out the bench and sitting down. Watched his profile as he closed his eyes and felt the keys. I let him play a bit before stopping him.

"Not good enough."

He looked up in sudden anger. "I di'n' make a mistake!"

"No, you didn't. It was technically correct. But your playing is empty. Did you learn from a teaching machine?"

"Me mum taught me to play." His fists were clenched over the keys.

"Then play something she taught you. Something you love, something you _feel." _He looked at me till the anger faded from his eyes and turned back to the keyboard. He held his hands out before him, turned them over and flexed them.

This time when he closed his eyes he sighed and began to play. It was a lullaby, and hauntingly beautiful. He must have been very young when he learned this song. Finally his fingers stilled on the keys and I blinked the tears back.

"Can I have the coin now?" He asked standing.

"Can you tell the difference between the two songs?" I asked.

"Yes." He looked at the window.

"Do you want a job? I have a large garden and no one to garden it"

"Wot?" He looked confused.

"A job. Where you work and get paid. You won't have to climb in an old lady's window in the middle of the night to steal."

"I know wot.. what a job is."

"Well? What do you say?" I stepped out of the shadows. He didn't flinch like some of the others, like my own son. "I'll teach you to play."

"I know how to play." He shook his head.

"You could learn how to touch people's hearts. Or," I shrugged. "I'll teach you something else. You can have your choice…." Waved my hand around, gun still in it.

"Can I play it sometimes?" His fingers touched the keys.

"Yes. After your chores in the garden. You can come in here and play all you want."

"Do I still get the coin?" He stepped toward me.

"I said you could, didn't I?" Gestured at the dresser. "Keep my promises."

"Some people say one thing and do another." He pocketed a coin and turned toward the window.

"Yes. Yes they do. Do you have a name boy?"

"Hatter." He touched the brim of his ridiculous hat.

"Be here two hours after dawn."

He turned to look back at me, one leg over the sill.

"It's a big garden." I shrugged and he was gone. Not a sound on the cobbles, not a sound when he went over the wall. Watched his shadow fly from the window.

Perhaps I would not die tonight after all.

* * *

He was only a few minutes late. Watched him jump lightly over the wall and look around.

"You can use the gate you know." I said from my chair under the tree.

He walked over and looked down at me. "You're not old."

"I'm old as death." Laughed lightly and looked up at him. His eyes were dark, the color of melted chocolate and still fairly innocent. Yes, he would do nicely.

"If you didn't have that scar on your cheek, you'd be beautiful. And maybe if you combed your hair…." He said with the brutal honesty of youth. But I was tired of lies.

"Weed the roses first. Then trim them. Careful of the thorns."

He shrugged and went to work. At least this one knew which flowers were roses.

At noon, I brought him some bread and jam. He took a drink in the fountain and then washed his face, splashing water on his chest. His shirt hanging on a branch. He looked at me sideways and I laughed. Laughed so hard I almost dropped the platter of bread.

He grabbed the bread off the platter eating it in great gulps, watching me with a puzzled look in his eyes.

"You're starving." Laughter forgotten I looked at him closer. "Come into the kitchen. I have more. Put your shirt back on."

He ate two loaves and a jar of jam before finally sitting back to look at me. I sat across from him drinking a cup of tea, and studied this boy called Hatter.

"Thank you." He looked up at me, embarrassed by his hunger. Tried to scrape the crumbs into a pile with the edge of his hand. "Wot…what's your name?"

"I'm the Countess Morgrane, Dowager Countess that is." Smiled sourly. "You can call me Ilsa."

"What does dowager mean?" He drained his mug of tea.

"It means when my son married that little bitch, she became the Countess and decided I was unnecessary at Court. She's the one that gave me this little memento." Touched the scared cheek.

"I'm sorry." He looked around for more food or escape, it was hard to tell which.

I got up to get him more tea and sat the pot on the table.

"Are you left-handed?" I asked curiously.

"What?" He looked at his hands. "No, why?"

"Your left hand is covered in scratches and your right has none."

He pulled hands under the table. "I should get back to work now." He stood and stuffed his hands in his pants pockets.

"That's enough for today. You can go play the piano as long as you want. You can take anything you like. Only one thing has meaning for me now." Walked outside to sit under the tree and lost myself in memories as the boy played and played.

* * *

We went on that way for several weeks, gradually becoming friends. He told me bits and pieces of living on the streets and I told him of living at Court all while he weeded and played.

"What do you miss the most?" He asked late one afternoon. His playing was much improved, he was beginning to understand how to feel the music, create his own.

"Mmm…" I thought. "The dancing I guess." Looked over at him. "Can you dance Hatter?"

He shrugged and played another song. "Seen me mum and dad dancing once, in the garden in the moonlight." He looked up and his eyes were filled with such sadness it broke my heart.

"Would you like to learn how to dance?" I offered.

He looked at me curiously. "How? I mean, who would play the music?"

I laughed and opened the dresser. Took out the black lacquer box and opened the lid. My only treasure. A jumble of data cubes on one side and player on the other. He got up to look when I dropped one cube in and the music began to play.

"You see?" I asked. "That's how to play with feeling, with love."

"I thought you played." He looked at me and back at the piano.

"No. My…the Count played. My love." Brushed the silly tears away and turned to the boy.

"Here, put one hand here and hold my hand. Now listen. Close your eyes and feel the music, feel the beat and move with it."

He closed his eyes and held me carefully, like a glass doll. It was the first time I'd danced since… since then. No time for that now. Time to teach the boy dancing. And then .. and then perhaps lots of other things.

Perhaps it was because he loved the music that he caught on quicker than I expected. He was still slightly clumsy, but that was easily dealt with.

"Stop. You're falling over your feet. And mine."

"I'm sorry. I…" He stepped back.

"Don't be sorry. Listen. In a dance, there is a leader and a follower. You are always the leader, and you must lead me where you want to go."

He shook his head and looked at me. "I dunno where to go."

"You go where the music takes you. Hold me just tight enough that I must go with you and _lead_." I put a different data cube in. A slower beat.

He was better this time, but still not right. "Stop." Sat down on the bench and thought. He stood patiently waiting. Finger tapping against his thigh with the beat.

"When your parents danced, did they stand far apart and reach out to touch hands?"

He shook his head no and I stood again, another cube, hot throbbing beat.

"Ok, stand behind me, so close the wind cannot blow between us. Now put your arm around my waist and hold me tight. Hold your other hand out." I put one hand in his and twisted the other back to wrap around his neck. "Three steps forward and three back, move me in time with the music." He stood still a second, then took one tentative step, moving us both forward. Slowly at first he started to get it. Rested the back of my head on his shoulder.

"That's it. Like lovemaking. Move your hips." Three more steps. "You have made love to a girl, right Hatter?"

"Yeah." Three steps. His hand tightened around mine.

"Or did you just fuck her?" One step and stop. "There's a big difference."

"Wot? What difference?" Two steps and back. "It's the same."

"Did you please her?" Three steps forward. "Will she welcome you back?"

"I dunno." Three steps back.

"That's most likely a no." I laughed. "Would you like to learn?"

"Already know." He growled. Three steps forward. He was thinking about something else now, and his movements were smooth, fluid.

"You know how to take what you want. Would you like to learn how to make them come back to you time and time again? Any woman you want?" Three steps and he turned.

"Yeah." Three steps and I turned in his arms, facing him, bodies still moving as one. He hesitated for a second and then continued. "Yeah."

"It's very simple. Like the piano, you press a key and you get a note." I said into his ear. "Start slowly and work your way to the crescendo."

"Girls don' like to be touched."

"Girls don't like to be pawed. Please them first and they will break their back to please you. Make them feel special. Make them feel like for those few moments, they're the most important, special thing in the world. Make them feel desired and beautiful."

He grunted and missed a step.

"Touch her, taste her, smell her. Worship her body."

"Sounds like a lot of work." He grumbled.

"Yes." I laughed. "So much work that most men don't bother, and they get crumbs. Do you want any woman Hatter, any time you want? I can teach you that. You have the basic assets. Dark, smoldering eyes, infectious grin, delicious little dimple. Strong muscles. And that hair..There's not a woman alive who won't ache to get her hands in that hair."

"I do ok." He smirked. Three back, three forward. Moving with the music.

"Your way will only get you so far. Only get you a time, maybe two. You can learn how to bend their will to yours with a touch, a kiss, a glance."

"Once is all I need." He shrugged.

"Don't you want them all?" I laughed. "Think of it. Don't you want them begging for more? Don't you want to hear them scream your name when they cum? Do _anything_ for you? I can promise this."

"What do you want for this learning?" Ah, not so innocent as I thought.

"One little thing. Just one little thing. All I want is for you to seduce my son's wife and let him catch you with her." Just a little thing to open his eyes. "Promise, boy. Promise to take my revenge."

"He might kill me." He grinned.

"Not my son. Besides, you will have had a Countess." Held his eyes.

"Think I could have a Countess right now." He ground his hard-on against me, lust in his eyes. You could always depend on lust.

"You might." I whispered back. "If you can make me beg for it." Moved my hand from his neck to his hair and tugged his face down to mine.

_AN: this is supposed to be a play on I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, not so sure it came off that way. She did promise him a Rose Garden, it wasn't till Alice came that he finally got pricked by a thorn._


	11. Chapter 2

**Just another nigh in paradise**

_AN: WARNING: As the word states, this is a drunken orgy and there's lots of orgy stuff going on. Trust me, actual events have been glossed over, but still plenty going on. Carlotta's POV. Rated M for a good reason. _

_Bacchanalia nights__** in the Tea Shop were nothing but orgies - a marketing ploy designed to attract new customers, sell more to current ones. Chance to lay some pretty girls. girls for the customers. I had 'em all, Alice. The pretty ones anyway. They meant nothing, interchangeable girls to keep me going another day. Anything to keep profits up and the Queen off me back.**_** - H**

_Bac·cha·na·li·a_

_[bak-uh-**ney**-lee-uh, -**neyl**-yuh]**–noun, plural **-li·a, -li·as._

_a drunken feast; orgy_

_Definition: celebration devoted to sensual enjoyment_

_Synonyms: bacchanal, bacchanalia, bender, binge, blowout, carousal, circus, debauch, dissipation, excess, feast, fling, indulgence, jag, merrymaking, overindulgence, party, rampage, revel, revelry, saturnalia, splurge_

_

* * *

_

"Look, there's a Bacchanalia night this Friday. Last weekend of the month. You wanted to meet Hatter, here's your chance." Penny set the sacks on the counter.

Carlotta looked away from the screen and up at her cousin. She wondered again how they could be related when they looked so different. Penny's green-eyed elfin face, was nothing like her own. Dark eyes are better anyway, Carlotta tossed her curls. And she was tall enough that no man had to bend over to kiss her.

"What's a Baccha whatever night?" She looked back at the screen. She hadn't seen this movie and thought she might like it.

"You know." Penny shrugged. "Your basic orgy – on Dream of course. Hatter blends the coolest stuff. Euphoria in a spray." Penny sat down beside her cousin and looked up at the screen. She'd seen this movie and it wasn't that great.

"So basically you lay around in a daze, fucking each other." Carlotta sighed. She wanted to meet Hatter, but not like that. No, not like that.

Penny laughed. "No, silly. There's food, drinks, really hot guys, dancing, any kind of Dream you want. I heard there's a new one, a mix of Frenzy, Lust, Bliss, Ecstasy and Need. I think it's Afternoon something. Maybe Afternoon Delight. Wait till you try the Honey Dust."

"Sounds like fun." Carlotta yawned. She'd not even been here a week and already every word out of her cousin's mouth annoyed her.

"Well it is." Penny said defensively. "Anything goes. Last time…"she closed her eyes and smiled. "…last time I didn't make it home till Monday morning."

"I thought you said it was a night?" Carlotta frowned. She might be willing to go for awhile, but a whole weekend? What kind of party was that?

"Starts Friday at sunset and lasts till the last guy staggers out." Penny giggled. "That's where I met Fish."

Carlotta sniffed. Fish wasn't any kind of catch in her book. She was after bigger game.

Hatter now, he was worth catching. Maybe she would go.

"Ok, so what if I go." Carlotta forgot the movie and started thinking thru her wardrobe.

"Well, I always go on Thursdays after work to get a stamp."

"Stamp? What for?" The red sheath dress? The black backless one?

"Cover charge is pretty high. Hatter lets hot girls like us in for free. All the Dream you can hold. Get a stamp and you're good to go."

"So basically, you're just whoring for Hatter." No, this wouldn't do.

"Whoring?" Penny laughed. "No, Hatter doesn't get anything for it. And sometimes, if you're lucky, you get Hatter!"

"Still sounds fishy to me."

"Oh that reminds me, Fish is coming over later, can you disappear for a few hours?"

"Penny, I've only been in the City for a week, where do you think I'm gonna go?"

"Come on Carlotta, I just wanna be alone with Fish for awhile."

"Is Fish gonna be at this Baccha whatever thing?" Carlotta frowned. She was not going to let him touch her.

"Sure. I told you I met him there."

"He makes my skin crawl." Carlotta shook her head. "He has hairy knuckles."

"Oh you don't have to do anything you don't want to." Penny promised getting up. "but after a couple sprays, there's nothing you won't wanna do and nobody you won't do it with."

"What?" Carlotta had been thinking clothes again. "Spray? What if I don't want any of this Dream spray?

Penny stuck her head back in the room, "No spray! Are you kidding? Carlotta, I don't know what you got up to out there in the sticks, but here in the city, everyone does Dream."

"I haven't"

"That's what I'm telling ya. Dream is like…. Like nothing you've ever felt before. You're in a dream and you're awake at the same time. Nothing is real and everything is real. Depending on the Dream, you feel… you feel…well you feel everything."

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense." Green sequin top, black tights and thigh high boots.

"Take Lust. It makes you so hot and horny you'd fuck a box of frogs." Penny laughed. "And the merest touch, well… you'll come nine ways from Sunday."

"And Bliss. Oh, Bliss you'll feel every breath on your skin, every touch, every tongue." Penny closed her eyes and sighed. She couldn't wait. "Everything's so intense, it just blows you away."

"Does Hatter have a girlfriend?" Carlotta asked, ignoring Penny's ravings. She'd found her cousin exaggerated about everything. This Dream stuff was probably just another new drink. She could drink anyone under the table. That's what we get up to out in the sticks. She smiled to herself.

"Hatter?" Penny frowned at her. "Hatter has any girl he wants… every girl he wants. He never sticks with one more than a few days. There's always at least two or three in his bed. I've been there a couple times."

Carlotta figured this was more exaggeration. No woman would put up with that for long. Hatter was cute, but no guy was _that _cute.

"Frenzy, now that's a good one. You just can't seem to get enough."

"Enough what?" She could borrow Penny's gold dress and wear it with her new strappy heels. She'd stand above a crowd of Penny's in those. Carlotta nodded to herself. Yes.

"Enough anything. Enough everything. Licking, sucking, fucking. You name it. Everything becomes a blur of pleasure. Hey, I should write the ads."

"Ads?" What was Penny talking about now. Had she packed that new Orange spices cream? Surely she had.

"Adverts. You know. There was one on earlier for Bacchanalia Night… Um… Celebration of Sensual pleasure. Mouths on mouths, mouths on skin….uh, fingers touching, tongues licking…. Something something, stroking. The taste of skin an aphrodisiac. You'll see."

"Whatever. Getting the stamp thing, I just show up, Hatter says I'm hot and I'm in?" She had time to get her hair done and get one of those mud wrap things. Not that she needed one, but it never hurt.

"Yep. Anytime in the afternoon. You just show up. You're hot Carlotta, don't worry. Hatter'll give you a stamp." She shrugged.

"I'm plenty hot." Carlotta laughed. "No problem." She could try that new red lipstick. Kissable something. Or Sugar Kiss. Yes. Hatter wouldn't know what hit him.

* * *

Thursday afternoon, Penny rushed home to find Carlotta had gone thru her own meager wardrobe and had started on hers. Clothes were strewn everywhere around the bedroom.

"What are you gonna wear? I can't find anything." Carlotta complained.

"Doesn't look like you've left me a rag to wear." Penny looked around. "Today doesn't matter anyway. It's tomorrow night you wanna look your best."

"Today matters. It'll be the first time Hatter sees me." Carlotta insisted holding something else up to the mirror. "I want to make a lasting impression."

Penny smiled at her cousin. Let her go, she'd find out. Hatter was uncatchable. Too many had tried and failed for Penny to believe her hick cousin from the country would be the one. She smiled wistfully. The one Hatter fell in love with.

* * *

They rushed up to Dormie who was already talking to four other girls. He looked them over and nodded.

"You're just in time. Only room for one more after you lot." He started walking down a hallway. The other girls followed him giggling. Penny walked after them. Carlotta lifted her chin and straightened her back. Destiny, here I come.

Whatever Carlotta expected, this wasn't it. She looked around in surprise. This must be his office, not the Bacch, baccha, party room. Hatter looked even better close up. Her hands itched to get in that hair.

He nodded to the newcomers. There were already a dozen or so girls in the room. Carlotta examined each of them and decided none of them were more beautiful than herself. She would have no problem if this was the competition. Another girl came running in breathlessly,

"Hello, luv." Hatter grinned at her. "Barely made it, yeah?"

"Ok, Dormie. That'll do it I think." Hatter sat in his white swivel chair. He waited till Dormie shut the door and then clapped his hands. "Who wants to go first?"

Carlotta watched the girls push and shove to stand in front of Hatter who grinned at them.

"No need to fight, luv. There's room for all o' ya."

They finally managed to form some kind of line. Carlotta at the end. You always remember the last one she thought. And besides, she wanted to see what the others said, what he responded to.

"Ok then, off with it, yeah?" Hatter sat back and waited.

The first girl, a short with blond hair and too much makeup skimmed out of her clothes and danced around in front of Hatter. He grinned and nodded. She squealed and danced away to pull her dress back on.

The second girl went slower, bending over in front of Hatter as she slowly pulled her clothes off, doing a slow strip tease. Hatter just nodded and said nice job luv.

The third girl had her clothes off before the second was out of the way.

"Hello, luv" He reached out and ran his hand down her hip. She giggled.

"You're welcome in me bed anytime, luv."

"Silly, I was in your bed Tuesday"

He took her wrist and turned it over. "You didn't hafta come today, luv. That'll get you in."

"I know, silly, I just wanted to see you." She giggled and picked up her clothes.

The fourth girl was rather plain, dark hair hanging straight past her ears, a little too skinny, mouth a little too big. She stood awkwardly in front of Hatter, not knowing what to do with her hands. Carlotta figured he'd just turn her away, but he studied her head to the side. He thought her eyes were a beautiful blue, the color of mountain flowers.

"Well, luv?"

She turned to the fifth girl and stepped close enough to run both hands up her arms, across her shoulders and cup her face dropping feather kisses around her mouth, nibbling on her lips. The fifth girl, a leggy blond, opened her mouth slightly and stood still closing her eyes. The dark haired girl ran her tongue across the blond's lower lip, tugged it between her teeth, her hands going behind the blond to unzip her dress and ease it down her shoulders, down to puddle on the floor. She deepened the kiss, until the blond reached out for her.

She stepped back facing Hatter, the blond slightly swaying, eyes blinking.

"Ok then." Hatter nodded to both of them and they moved off to stand together.

Carlotta swallowed, very sure this was not something she wanted to get involved in. She'd never seen the like! Two girls kissing! She looked at Penny and wondered. She wasn't kissing any girls! The rest of the girls passed Hatter's inspection and soon it was just her left.

Not so sure she wants to go thru with this, not what she came for. Like cattle at the fair. But she'd make a worse impression if she left now. She bit her lip.

Carlotta took a deep breath and stepped in front of Hatter. The other girls were chatting and watching the screens.

"Well, luv?" Hatter said after a minute.

"If you want my clothes off, you're gonna hafta take 'em off yourself." Her voice was too loud and everyone looked at her. She flushed, but stood her ground. Hatter looked at her and a slow grin filled his eyes. He tilted his head at her and considered.

"First time, luv?"

He stood and ran both hands up her arms, fingers curling around. Thumbs slid under the spaghetti straps and slid them back down her arms, till the silk camisole fell around her waist. Carlotta shivered as he cupped her breasts and hefted them, his eyes still on hers. She swallowed hard.

He nodded and grinned showing the dimple. Took his hands away and stepped over to the desk and picked up a small silver canister with one flat side.

"Gimme your hand, luv." He reached out and took it, turning it over, holding it in his right hand. Placed the flat side of the canister on her wrist and pressed. Carlotta jerked, but he held her tightly for a count of five. She could feel her pulse pounding.

"Oww! It burns!" He laid the canister on the table, still holding her hand. "It's on fire!"

She looked at her wrist and saw the golden stamp. A large M with the last bar forming the left side of the H. It burned like hell.

"Easy, luv." Hatter loved the ones that fought, loved the look in their eyes when they finally surrendered to his touch. "You have to wet it to activate it." He lifted her wrist to his mouth and slowly licked the stamp, eyes on hers.

Carlotta was immediately flushed with heat and a wave of arousal spread thru her being. She tried to keep her eyes on his, but closed them with a gasp. She heard him chuckle and felt him lick her wrist again.

"What is that?" she said breathlessly. "I…want…"

"Honey Dust." He let her wrist go. Whatcha want, luv?"

"I want..." she licked her lips. "I want you to remember my name." Eyes a little glazed over, but still defiant. "Carlotta St. Delaware!"

Hatter chuckled and nodded. "Well luv, come tomorrow night and we'll give it a go, yeah?"

* * *

Carlotta arrived late, long after Penny'd left. She could imagine how awkward it would be to arrive before anything started, standing around looking at each other, nibbling on cheese or something.

It was nothing like she expected. Dormie led her to a room in the back. Pink and purple lights strobed to the throbbing music. A few couples danced, big backless couches were scattered around covered in silk pillows, thick carpets on the floor, bodies tangled on the grass. Racks along one wall to hang your clothes on, but most people were either half dressed or left their clothes were they fell. She saw Penny sandwiched between two guys, neither one Fish.

"Name your poison." Dormie's hand hovered over a tray of sprays with colored tips. There was another tray of the stamp canisters, the ones that held the Honey Dust. Carlotta's hand clenched as she looked at it.

"Let me, luv." Hatter had come up behind her, dressed only in green paisley silk boxers and top hat. His fingers danced over the tray considering, looked back up at her and grinned. He picked up one and then another with one hand, held out his other hand to her.

"Let's start with Afternoon Delight and Velvet Paradise, yeah?"

Carlotta looked at his hand and then his eyes. She lifted one eyebrow. Hatter grinned and held his hand a little closer to her. "Carlotta St. Delaware." He whispered. She held out her hand, the one with the stamp on the wrist.

Hatter lifted her hand and licked from her palm way past the stamp. She felt her insides melt and put a hand out to steady herself against the little table.

"Lift your hair, luv." He said holding one of the sprays up.

"What?" She blinked her eyes at him.

"Your hair, luv." With a grin, he lifted her hair and pressed the first spray against her neck. It was cold, she heard a little hiss and then he was pressing the second one in the same spot.

"Oh." She looked around. The lights weren't garish anymore and the music was in tune with her heartbeat. Everyone looked so happy. She wanted… she needed… Why was she so hot?

"Wanna sit down, luv?" Hatter took her hand and led her to one of the low couches. He liked the grass himself, but she would probably worry about grass stains on her skirt. Maybe later.

He had her out of her clothes before she realized it. Another couple came to sit on the couch but Hatter waved them away, she wasn't ready for that yet. Maybe later.

She whimpered at his touch and he knew just where to touch her. Laid her back on the silk pillows and licked his way from lips to breasts while she moaned and found his hair with her fingers. Kept trying to push him down farther, but he wouldn't be rushed. Pushed two fingers inside her and she came screaming his name. He moved up to bite her neck and roll her over on her stomach. He pushed her up on her knees and took her from behind, thrusting hard.

Carlotta screamed into the pillow, pushing back to meet him thrust for thrust. Penny knelt next to the couch and kissed Hatter, hands in his hair. Tongue deep in Penny's mouth , Hatter jerked Carlotta back against him a final time and came. He left Carlotta, ass in the air and pulled Penny to the grass.

The next time he saw Carlotta she was sitting on Fish's lap, her head back on his shoulder, her legs over his knees spread wide. Fish had both hands on her breasts.

"Hello, luv. Having a good time, yeah?"

She blinked at him, Hatter, that was Hatter. Looked down, someone's hands were on her, couldn't be Hatters, he was holding a drink.

"Hatter?" She asked the hands. Fish laughed and moved his legs wider to spread her more. Hatter set his glass on the grass and knelt between her legs. Her hands found his his shoulders, dug her nails in.

"What…what happened to your back?' She murmured. Fish dipped her head back and to the side a bit to kiss her and shut her up. Hatter didn't talk about his back.

Hatter ignored her question, holding her thighs tightly with both hands holding her still while he used his mouth on her. Carlotta writhed and Fish had to use one arm to wrap around her to keep her on his lap.

Carlotta opened her eyes blinking at the light. She stretched bumped into someone. Lifting her head she found herself in a big bed with Hatter curled up beside her. He looked so young, she smiled. Last night was just a blur, bits of pieces of memories floated up and she knew it had to be just a dream. She would never, ever act like that, do those things. Her hand clenched in the sheets.

But she was alone with Hatter in his bed, and she meant to stay.


	12. Chapter 12

Pages from Hatters Notebook

_**Alice—Rufe claims I saved his life on several occasions, but I owe him my life as well. **_

_**

* * *

**_

**WIN SOME, LOSE SOME**

Sitting in O'Malley's Pub, playing some cards when a Club and some Suits crashed through the doors. They're looking for someone, I can see them in the big mirror behind the bar. Pretend to study my cards.

The Club, a Three said "Which one of you is Hatter?" Everyone looked up at him except me. Dormie opened his mouth to squeak and I kicked him under the table.

"Who wants to know?" Looked up from my cards and spoke to the Three. Looked younger than in the mirror. This should be fun.

Club focuses on me and walks towards us, Suits close behind.

"The Queen has called in the favors for using the teleport."

"Yeah? Like what?" Move the cards around in my hand.

"The Queen has heard you have a smashing right."

I chuckled. "Maybe." Looked around and the others laughed nervously. Dormie's eyes were big and terrified. I'm surprised he hadn't crawled under the table already.

"The Queen has decided to collect her favors in a fight, a cage fight. To the death." The Club cleared his throat nervously. This must've been his first 'collection'.

"I see." Looked at the others and shook my head slightly and stood. "I'm your man."

"Eggh." Dormie squeaked, standing as well. I walked around the table, took him by both shoulders and pushed him back down in the chair.

"I'll be fine. Don't worry. Don't tell the others." Squeezed his shoulders hard and shook him slightly. Walked back to face the Club.

"You're gonna come willingly?" The Club looked surprised.

Raised an eyebrow at him. "Three… Three. Were you looking forward to testing my smashing right?"

"No…No…" He smiled nervously. "But most people don't…" Three of Clubs shrugged.

"Most people aren't me." Laughed looking back at the group at my table. "When's this fight happening?" Put my arm around the Three's shoulder making him uncomfortable, and we walked out of the pub, Suits on our heels.

"Midnight." The Club edged away, shrugging off my arm. "The Queen wants time to …advertise." He coughed, looking at me nervously.

"More like she needs time to get in as many bets in as possible." I laughed. "So, who's my unlucky adversary?"

"Killer Creep." The Club swallowed. "He's kind of …unbeaten."

"Hey! I saw him last week! Too bad." Flexed my fists. "Don't bet on him, Three. He's going down tonight." Three looked at me in shock.

"But he's killed seven men…"

"Yeah? Too bad it won't be a nice round eight." Laughed. "Do yourself a favor and bet on me. "

* * *

I'd fought before, but never in a cage with an audience. Well not a highborn audience anyway, but highborn or not, they all screamed for blood sooner or later. Could see the Queen front row center in her big red throne. Looked through the crowd, trying to pick familiar faces out. Ah, there they were, the whole crew, the only ones not cheering, shouting or placing bets. Tossed them a wave and forgot them for now.

Someone had the brilliant idea to advertise me as the Mad Hatter. Smiled wryly. What a joke.

Looked Killer Creep over, a big, arrogant man with a full beard. Couldn't see much for the leather face masks we both wore. He grinned at me and I saw he was missing his front teeth. He had seven weapons, since he'd killed seven men. I got to keep any I could take away from him. A short steel pipe, four knives, some kind of short sword, and damn, was that a mace tucked in his belt? Of course, when I killed him I only got to keep one for my next fight. The only rule was to stay alive as long as possible. And perhaps spill enough blood to make the Queen smile. There was no way out, once you were in, except death. Win or die.

There was no referee, the Queen would drop a red scarf when she was ready. We had to bow to her first, then wait. She was busy talking and I could see Killer getting antsy. Tried to study him out of the corner of my eyes. He had a black eye from his last fight, so that would be a tender spot.

Too bad it looked like he had the reach on me, and he was much taller. Too bad he never had the benefit of a teaching machine or an excellent tutor like March. I laughed out loud thinking how March would cripple this guy. Killer looked over at me and grinned.

"Don't mate." I whispered. "You look ridiculous with no teeth." Grinned at him, showing him my perfect white teeth.

"Gonna lose those." He promised with a growl. "Gonna be dead soon." He shook the pipe at me. "Gonna splatter you all over the place."

"You know who I am?" I asked him, face still mostly on the Queen. "Heard about my right?" Held my right arm out and flexed the fist.

"Lies. Heard a bunch of lies." He answered. "We'll see how your _right_ works against a sword."

"Keep on believing that. First I'm gonna smash your face in, then work my way down."

"Yeah? First I'm gonna knock you down with this pipe, then I'm gonna beat you a little bit, break a few ribs, then I'm gonna cut your heart out, then I'm gonna pop your head off." He had turned to face me and took his eyes off the Queen. She took that opportunity to drop the scarf and we were on.

Circled around him, just studying his moves, looking for weaknesses, till he got angry and ran at me waving the pipe. Jump-kicked the pipe out of his hand and slapped his face on the way by barely missing his swipe with the short sword. Rolled in the dirt and had the pipe and one of the knives from his belt before he could turn around. The crowd screamed.

He looked at the pipe in my hand and felt at his belt for the missing knife, like he couldn't believe it. Been hit in the head one too many times, eh Killer? We circled some more and he pulled the mace out swinging it slowly, stalking closer and closer to me. I held the pipe by one end, waving at back and forth giving him something to focus on.

He ran in swinging the mace at my head, big mistake. I ducked and held the pipe up, catching the mace letting the chain wrap around it and turned, letting the pipe go. The momentum carried pipe and mace high crashing into the cage, getting tangled in the bars. Took him a moment to notice the knife I stuck in his shoulder.

The crowd screamed, Killer screamed and I laughed. He pulled the knife out and threw it, missing me by a mile. He brandished the short sword and grinned at me. I let him chase me across the cage where I ran up the side and flipped over his head. The flat side of the sword caught my head on the way down, but I had another knife. Tripped and fell, rolling away from his kicks. The sword coming down to smack into the dirt, into me if I didn't move faster.

March would've already stopped and kicked my ass for not getting the sword away from him. The side of my face was numb. March was right, needed to get that sword.

Jumped up and faced Killer. He was too close, the sword was too close. Jumped backwards and ran into the cage, sat down suddenly as he lunged and scrambled away through his legs. The unlucky person standing too close to the cage stared in disbelief at the sword in his gut. Killer screamed at him and jerked the sword out. I made a dash for the other side of the cage where the mace and pipe were still tangled. Grabbed up the knife he'd thrown on the way.

Couldn't get either free before Killer had a hand around my ankle pulling me down. He wanted me down, fine. Pushed away and down and kicked into his face, messing up the flip, landing in the dirt, almost dropping the knife. Back where we started, me looking at the wrong end of the sword. He raised the sword to stab me and I took that brief second to stab the knife through his boot into the dirt.

Killer screamed and dropped the sword. Grabbed the sword and scuttled backwards till I could stand up. Tried to wipe the blood out of my eye. Don't remember when that happened.

Killer had two knives left in his belt. He used both hands to pull the knife out of his foot. It came out bloody and he turned and threw it into the crowd. I didn't turn to see who screamed. Killer looked at me and roared.

Charged me like a bull and rammed me up against the side of the cage. I dropped the sword as his fists pummeled my kidneys and chest. Ooo was that a rib? Well I wasn't using them right now anyway.

"You're a dead man!" He screamed into my face.

"Bite me." I answered, pulling both knives from his belt and stabbing him in the gut, jerking the blades up, ripping him open.

Sorry March, I know it was messy. I'll do better next time.

* * *

"Get up you idiot!" Someone was pulling at me, dragging me up. Opened my one good eye and blinked at the light.

"Hatter?" Tried to sit up, moaned when my broken ribs objected. One of the doctors had wrapped them, but it didn't help much. "What'reyadoinghere?" My words all slurred together.

"Get up! We don't have much time." He was dragging me toward the open door. Wait, how did the door get open. That door only opened for one thing, another fight. Food was pushed through the slot at the bottom. Water from a pipe in the wall.

"Damn it Rufe! Come on!" He gave up and hefted me over his shoulder. Not a good idea, I think I puked down his back before I passed out.

* * *

"Feeling better?" Hatter wiped my face with a wet towel. He wrung it out in a bowl of water and laid it on my forehead.

"Was better when I didn't feel nothing." Groaned and closed my eyes again. "Where are we?" Pushed the towel away and tried to sit up. Bit back a scream and Hatter helped me sit up, lean against the wall. We were in our old hideout. The windows were broken now, letting the night in.

"Home." He said shortly. "Are you awake now?"

"Hmmm?" Looked over at him. If I'd been sick, there was no sign now. "What?"

"What possessed you to pull such a stupid stunt?" He growled at me. "If you weren't so hurt, I'd kick your ass from here to the palace."

"You're just jealous you didn't beat Killer Creep." Tried to laugh, but my mouth was cut and swollen and it hurt. "Look, I had a whole new career and you've messed it up." Coughed and spit blood.

"You could've gotten yourself killed!" He shouted standing up and pacing around. Hatter was never one for being still. Like it took all of him to get his point across.

"Yeah? You _woulda_ been killed." Held the towel to my lip. "You've only got one shot Hatter, and you wouldn't 've gotten the first hit."

"You don't know that!" He kicked over the basin of water. "I didn't ask you to take my place…. Say you were me." That's what was bothering him. Didn't like to owe anyone anything. We were a long way from being even, still…

"You're not even grateful I saved your ass!" I cried in amazement. "Here I go sacrificing myself and you don't even care!"

"Rufe." He said in a dangerously low voice, quite unlike him. "It's no' your job to take care o' me."

"You'd never ask anyone to do anything for you!" I tried to stand, kept my back against the wall. "Hatter – the guy that never needs help! Never wants help!"

"It was me debt to pay!" Hatter kicked the empty basin again, breaking it this time. "Mine!"

"Yeah, whatever." Felt my head, found a lump or two. "I owe you, we all owe you. Just shut up and be grateful."

"So what now? Neither one o' us can go back to Court. The Queen is bound to find out that wasn't me in the cage. And her new Champion has disappeared." He rolled his hat down his arm and slammed it back on his head. He did that when he was upset or nervous or bored or half a dozen other things.

"You rescued me, remember? Don't you have a plan? You always have a plan."

"Yes, I have a plan. For two bits I'd take you back and dump you in the palace garden."

"Feel free!" Tried to take a step and stumbled. Hatter was there, holding me, helping me sit back down. "How did you rescue me anyway?"

"The Duchess." He looked at me and waited.

"Oh." Shit. "I didn't think you knew about that." Closed my eyes.

"I didn't. She came to me." His eyes were hard. "Didn't I tell you a thousand times to steer clear o' the Queen and the rest o' them?"

"Duchess isn't the Queen." I mumbled. "It was a secret. Just a little something on the side."

"She's the Queen's spy! Supposed to be keeping little Jack in line. No' off screwing you in the corner! Do you realize what would've happened to you if the Queen found out! To either o' you?" Hatter jerked his hat off and his hands were shaking so, I thought he was gonna drop it on the floor.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. But I wasn't. Not for Duchess. It was worth it. She was worth it.

"Sorry? Sorry?" Hatter threw his hat up in the air. "You hear that, Dormie? He's sorry."

Opened my eyes and saw Dormie standing in the shadows. "You little sneak! I told you not to tell!" Stood up again and took a few steps towards him before I got too dizzy to walk.

Dormie squeaked and jumped back. "I didn't! I didn't!"

"Leave Dormie alone. I didn't have to hear it from him. Imagine my surprise to see the advert on every screen, every bloody screen, how the Mad Hatter was gonna get creamed by Killer Creep!"

"Oh. Well look on the bright side. The Mad Hatter beat Killer Creep. I hope you bet on me."

That made Hatter smile and I knew we'd be ok.

"So what's the plan?" Tried to sit down since my legs thought I'd been standing long enough and were threatening to go on strike.

"We're going down to earth. Lay low for awhile, till everyone forgets."

"Going down to earth is what started this mess!" I protested. "You want to owe more favors?"

He grinned at me. "No need." Pointed to a box near the door. "Got us a few portable teleports awhile back. Left beacons every time we went down."

"Oh." Wondered why he never told me. I wasn't a big mouth like Dormie.

"We'll stay at the farm till you're better, then go have some fun in the city. Yeah?"

"Yeah."

* * *

Thought about Duchess. Soft and cuddly and hard as nails all at the same time. She'd found me late one night, drunk sitting on a balcony. I'd been dumped by my latest paramour, too drunk to look for another bed for the night.

"So." She handed me a glass of something sweet. "I hear you've lost another…lady."

She smiled taking a drink from her own glass. She leaned against the railing, the slit in her skirt revealing one long, long leg.

I stood and raked a hand through my hair, leaned back against the railing beside her. Beside that leg. That long, creamy, tantalizing, tempting leg. "There'll be another." Shrugged.

"Would you be interested in a little something different?" She looked at me, her face a beautiful mask.

"How different?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, amazed that the oh-so-correct Duchess was interested in kinky.

"Not that." She shook her head impatiently. "I.. I'm looking for a little … companionship.. on the side. Strictly sex, no relationship, no…entanglements."

"Thought you were all ga-ga over Jackie."

"He knows the Queen has me keeping tabs on him. He's so cold and I … I need a little warmth now and then. A little comfort." She looked at me from under her lashes.

"Why me?" There were plenty of Lords willing to take care of her. Or servants for that matter.

"No one must ever know. I'd lose all ground with Jack. He's so possessive. Besides, the Queen would behead me. Whatcha say Rufe? Up for a little secret romance?" A smiled played on her lips, but didn't reach her eyes. Wondered if I could make her eyes laugh.

"Still doesn't explain why _me_? There must be plenty of guys…" twirled the glass pushing away the thought I was too drunk to be thinking straight.

She huffed and looked away and then back at me. "I've heard things…heard whispers..you're not…unskilled. You don't get involved, don't get attached. Besides…" She smiled. "You're not bad to look at ..."

"Duchess, I think… I think we have us a deal." Lifted the glass and toasted her.

* * *

_AN: Ah, does this explain some things, or raise more questions. Rufe and Duchess. How about that. Guess Barbie got tired of Ken and went looking for GI Joe. Please R & R. and Thanks to all my faithful reviewers!_


	13. Chapter 13

Pages from Hatters Notebook

_**Alice—When March went into the Queen's Training Program, we'd sit around late at night telling ghost stories and frighten each other to death. The Barrens was scarier than any made-up story, you could find a ghoul in every shadow, a monster behind every tree and death under every rock. Even the Suits were afraid to come near it at night.**_

* * *

**Whispers in the Dark**

"Dormie do this. Dormie do that. Dormie go down to the bottoms and see what you can scavenge off the dead and whatever else is tossed off the ledges." The boy grumbled to himself as he skittered from shadow to shadow, piece of paper clutched tightly in one hand.

"Dormie, here's the grocery list. Take care of it." He said in a sing-song voice. "Why'd I have to do everything?" He stopped to peek around the corner. Just because he was the smallest didn't mean they could push him around. Well, actually it did.

Maybe he really was a changeling, like they said. He was smaller than all of them, saw things they couldn't see, heard things they couldn't hear. He'd probably have bad luck if it wasn't for the four-leaf clover and the package of salt he always carried. And the rabbit's foot. Don't forget the rabbit's foot.

Seeing nothing, he studied the shadows. There were _things_ in the shadows. If you watched long enough, you could see them. Sometimes if it was very quiet, you could hear them chittering, laughing to themselves, just waiting for you to get close enough and then BAM. You were dinner.

"Dormie, you're old enough to go by yourself."

"Dormie, watch out on the way back, the lazy buggers that won't go down themselves, will be looking to rob anyone who does."

Dormie, don't wear that big overcoat, you want to be as small as possible."

Lots of dangerous things down here, why didn't he send one of the older boys? "Cause they wouldn't have come." Dormie whispered. "They woulda laughed and went where they wanted."

Was something moving over there? He squinted harder. Maybe, maybe not. Might even be Rufe waiting to jump out and scare him. They liked to scare him to death. "Screams like a girl!" they'd laugh. Waited till he fell asleep and played tricks on him. Laughing at him all the time, like he was one big joke.

He'd show 'em. Show 'em all. He wasn't gonna fall asleep down here, that's for sure. Took one little step around the corner, looking for the next shadow to hide in. One step closer, then two. Gasped and dropped the list when a rat scuttled across the path.

Dormie grabbed up the list and ran for the shadow. Sat down, leaned back and closed his eyes. Needed to rest, just for a moment. Count the heart beats. Wait till they'd slowed down enough to look at the list.

"Hatter should be the one to go, he used to could open almost any door, till the Queen reset everything. Doors where all the good stuff was." Dormie whispered to himself.

* * *

Dormie froze, one leg in the air for the next step. There was something behind him, something whose steps made no sound, but he could hear a slight wheezing as it breathed. He closed his eyes and lowered his foot carefully, pressing himself against the wall. Turned his head ever so slowly to look behind him at the corner he'd just turned.

Was that shadow moving? Was that a hand sliding around the corner wall? Oh hell, was that a foot stepping out, coming around the corner? Dormie slid himself another step farther from the corner, not taking his eyes off that hand. Oh hellhellhellhellhell.

Suddenly, he heard a gasp. Hand and foot were jerked roughly back out of sight. A scratching in the gravel and something thudded to the ground with a squeak. Dormie held his breath and waited. Silence. He counted to a hundred and slowly took another step away. Nothing.

Remembered something could be coming around the next corner and jerked his head back around. Everything was dark and quiet. Dormie let out a soft sigh and took another step. At this rate he'd not make it back by dawn, he'd not even make it down to the bottoms by dawn.

He'd only been down there a couple times, never alone. And never in the middle of the night. Who'd dreamed up this stupid idea anyway. He'd never wanted to take the Rite of Passage in the first place. He was perfectly happy staying one of the little kids forever if it meant he didn't have to come down here. He could take the teasing, the laughter. Well maybe not. The guys could be cruel and if March ever found out, he might send him over the ledge in a shortcut to the bottoms.

So here he was, four levels down and only four more to go. Nothing to it. Four levels. Oh hell, he'd was never gonna make it. Something would get him soon. They'd all wake up in the morning and wonder why ole Dormie hadn't heated the water for their tea. Wonder where he was, maybe come looking and find him, maybe find pieces of him, bloody pieces scattered here and there. Identified only by …by nothing. He'd disappear and they'd never know what happened.

They'd tell the new boys tales of ole Dormie. Don't do this, don't do that or you'll end up like ole Dormie. He started down to the bottoms late one night and was never seen or heard from again. Just a few splashes of blood on the ground to tell he'd ever been here.

Maybe Hatter would raise his teacup and toast poor ole Dormie, one of the lost boys. Or maybe they'd sit around and laugh. Knew he was just a baby, a crybaby. Too chicken to take out the garbage after dark. Maybe they wouldn't even notice.

Down the ladder, deeper into the darkness. At least he could hear something coming after him on the ladder. Couldn't see the bottom though. Couldn't go too fast or the noise would rattle the ladder and he wouldn't be able to hear. It was awfully dark down there, shouldn't be that dark. There was dark and then there was _dark_. That was _dark_.

Oh hell, hellhellhellhellhell. There was something down there. He heard something jump and land softly on the ground. Something had been on the rungs below and was down there waiting. Something that could see in the dark. He couldn't go back up, he couldn't go down. He couldn't cling here all night either.

Don't breathe, just listen. Was that a footstep or maybe giant claws dragging on the ground? Was that a thud? A smothered scream? Was that a whisper? A snicker? A chuckle? There must be more than one of them. Oh hellhellhell. Even the monsters laughed at him.

"You don't need a flashlight Dormie. It'll just attract attention." Well he damn well need a flashlight now. Wait. Did he really want to see what was down there waiting for him? Wouldn't it be better to just die without seeing it? Maybe hear a roar and see a flash of sharp teeth? Wouldn't it be over quick?

If he went back up, over three streets, there was a ramp, but then he'd have to scramble over the broken wall and he wasn't doing that. No sir. Not the broken wall. Not the broken wall beside the graveyard where the rich people buried their dead. He couldn't hold his breath long enough to get past. He knew what went on in places like that, especially in the middle of the night.

He'd just have to go on down. Wrapping one arm through the rungs, Dormie fished in his pockets for the salt. He'd drop a pinch down there and scare it away, whatever _it_ was. "Auhhh!", almost lost his rabbit foot. That woulda been a catastrophe! He wouldn't have made to the bottom of the ladder alive.

Ok. The salt did the trick. Nothing down here. Dormie crept along the narrow ledge, keeping an eye out for bats that might fly up and knock him off, or get tangled in his hair and pull him off. Bats did that. "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bat." He sang softly to appease them. "I DON"T wonder what you're at." He added ducking low as he passed under each window. No telling what might reach out and drag him through the broken glass. _Things_ lived in abandoned buildings. "We do. Course we don't pull people thru the windows and eat 'em." But still. _Things _did.

Wished he had a mirror, he could hold it out at the corners and see what was there. That'd been in a book Hatter'd read to them once. A very good idea too. He'd been on the lookout for a piece of mirror to carry in this pocket. Even though it was bad luck to break one, carrying a broken one wouldn't bring the bad luck with it, would it? Seven years was a long time, why he'd be grown by then. Course some monsters didn't have a reflection. He'd see nothing and step right into a trap.

Not paying attention, his foot kicked something and it crashed. Squatting down, Dormie felt the pieces of broken glass. Oh hell. Bottles were on the list. He felt around and found two unbroken ones. Someone had been having a bit of a party here. He slipped the bottles into two pockets, not too close or they'd clink together and something would hear him. Felt around to see if they left anything else and his hand slipped over the edge.

With a squeak, Dormie skittered backwards till his back was against the building. Gasping for breath he held his hand across his mouth so no one would hear. "Count the heart beats." He laid his head down on his knees and waited. He wasn't that far from the corner. Maybe if he crawled on his hands and knees, whatever was around there would be expecting someone taller and miss him altogether.

Dormie looked at the corner and sighed. He couldn't go on his hands and knees, he'd trip up on the coat. It almost dragged on the ground when he walked. It was warm and way too big, but it was his. He wasn't leaving it here.

Wait. He was sitting under a window. Oh hell. Wonder something hadn't already grabbed him. Dormie scrambled to his feet and tiptoed to within a couple feet of the corner and listened. He didn't have to go around this corner, just straight on. There was a broken bridge ahead and he knew there were things living under there. Things that liked a nice dark place even in the daytime. Things that might reach up and grab his feet if they were hungry. Course he wouldn't make much of a meal. Just a snack, a little snack.

Between one instant and the next, someone was coming around the corner. Coming for him, reaching for him. Dormie froze, eyes huge. It was a man, or a monster in man-shape. It wore a white fedora but anyway it was too dark to see its eyes, even if it had eyes. They stared at each other in shock for a second and Dormie saw a flash of white as it grinned. Then something had it by the neck and squeezed.

Its face convulsed and it tried to turn its head, a tiny grunt came out of the wide open mouth and then it fell. Landed at Dormie's feet, the hat rolling towards him. He should grab the hat. He'd never seen a white fedora before. Hatter liked hats and it wasn't even on the list. No, he'd get it on the way back, if it was still there. If it wasn't, then it wasn't meant to be. Hatter'd have to find his own hats.

If he stepped out, the other monster would see him. It had to be a pretty big one to crush this one's throat like that. Crush it without it being able to fight back, without even being able to turn around. He'd heard stories about people being found with their throat crushed. Found in their own beds with the doors locked. Bad people. Maybe the monster only took bad people. Maybe it was a good monster.

Dormie swallowed and took a shaky breath. Waited for the monster to come around and get him. He looked down to see the body being pulled backwards, arms dragging in the grass as he slowly disappeared. He heard a chuckle, definitely a chuckle. OH HELLHELL HELLHELL!

Dormie screamed and ran, ran over the bridge without a second thought for the _things _underneath, ran straight down the next ramp and past the garden where the dead trees were. He didn't stop till he was all the way on the bottom and then he fell in the long grass and lay there gasping.

* * *

It was daylight after all when Dormie made it back. He hadn't found everything on the list, but he hadn't done too bad either. He smelled the rich aroma of tea. Someone else had figured out how to heat the water to make tea. Gee, imagine that, he thought.

"Dormie!" They crowded in the doorway, watching him come up the path. "Have so much fun you didn't wanna come back?" They laughed.

"Very funny." He tried to get past them. "Where's Hatter. I got his stuff."

"He ain't here."

"Been gone all night."

"Musta found a girl."

"What'd ya get?"

"Let's see!"

They crowded around him pushing him back outside, not letting him in.

In a few minutes, Hatter came walking up the path, white fedora in his hand. They shouted greetings at him, still crowded around Dormie.

Dormie looked at the white fedora in Hatter's hand and the porkpie hat on his head. No, he thought. Couldn't be the same one.

"Hey Dormie!" Hatter laughed, stuffing the fedora inside his jacket. "You made it! Yeah?"

They opened a path for Hatter to walk up to Dormie and ruffle his hair with a laugh. He was close enough for Dormie to see flecks of blood on his yellow shirt. Hatter must've run into some monsters last night too. "I knew you could."

"Everything ready?" Hatter looked at the others. They nodded, barely able to keep from laughing.

"Ok, then." He pulled Dormie towards the door and inside. "Happy Unbirthday Dormie!"

They all shouted and started to sing.

Dormie looked around in wonder. They'd transformed the normally stark room into a garden. Flowers everywhere, stuck in every type of container. Someone had cut out grass and made a big carpet on top of which a blanket had been spread. All kinds of tea cups and plates were laid out on the blanket, and more food than they'd seen in a year.

Dormie bit his lip and blinked his eyes hard. He wouldn't cry, not today, not for anything.

* * *

_AN: Well I'm not sure it came across, but Hatter was following Dormie, protecting him._

_This is for Brumeier, who rashly said she would love Hatter's grocery list if I wrote it. Hope you like it! _

_Please R & R. Thanks to my faithful reviewers, you know who you are!_


	14. Chapter 14

Pages from Hatter's Notebook

**An Old Dog**

It was a warm summer afternoon and Hatter lay snuggled up with Elly, both spent, just nuzzling and cuddling in the aftermath. The door crashed open and before Hatter could move, he felt the sharp sting of a whip across his back.

Rolling off the bed, he was up and had hold of the hand, high in the air still grasped around the handle, ready to bring it down again. It was the Count, Elly's Count.

"No!" She screamed sitting up in bed. "Stop this!"

The Count struggled slightly, enough to see he wasn't going to break Hatter's grip "I told you to be discreet!" He shouted. "You whore!"

"I am…we are!" Elly started to cry, holding the sheet up to cover herself.

"Get out." Hatter said softly, squeezing his hand just a little, just enough to hurt.

The Count winced, glaring at Hatter. "This is MY house! That's MY wife." He wanted to spit on this boy. "If anyone's leaving, it's you!"

Hatter grinned. "Wanna bet?" He laughed. "Now get out and don't come back." He let go of his hand, jerking the whip away from him. "Before I use this on you." Hatter turned back to the bed to comfort Elly. "And I if hear you've hurt Elly…"

The Count laughed bitterly and turned to leave. "You'll be dead by morning."

"Don't bet on it, yeah?" Hatter waited till he left then pulled Elly into his arms. "There, there Luv. It'll be all right."

* * *

Two men sat in companionable silence, sharing a hookah.

"So you're gonna trick him."

"On the contrary, I am going to convince him of the necessity of his sacrifice."

"You think he'll willingly agree to go underground and protect the databanks? Take care of the refugees?"

"He will do as he's told, willing or unwilling."

"He's unstable, paranoid."

"What better man to protect our treasure."

* * *

"I've made arrangements with one of the Black Market people, calls himself Hatter." Caterpillar opened a book and tucked the bookmark behind his ear, the little boat rocking gently in the water.

"No, not him!" Dodo hissed standing on the edge of the pool. "Anyone but him!"

"You will work with Hatter, trading for food and supplies." Caterpillar ran a finger down the page, searching for his place.

"I won't have anything to do with him!" Dodo looked for something to hit, to smash his fist on.

"He will be delivering a shipment of food later this week." Caterpillar yawned.

"No! You don't know what he's done!" Dodo forced himself not to stomp his foot.

"Your personal issues are of no concern."

"But…" Dodo looked down, thinking furiously.

"Dodo." Calm, always so calm and methodical. "This is not about you."

"He's a thief and a liar! A wastrel! A two-faced conman!"

"Then it's up to you to make sure we don't get cheated."

"I won't-" Dodo's face twisted into a mask of hate.

Caterpillar took a slow puff on the hookah and glanced up at Dodo. "You will do as you're told."

Dodo swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth. Caterpillar might look like a mild and harmless little man behind those glasses, but he was as ruthless as the Queen. More so, as he had the reputation of dealing _efficiently_ with people. Dodo would take his chances with the Queen, but he wouldn't cross Caterpillar.

"I want to go outside and breathe clean air. It's been too long since I've seen trees and the grass."

"It's too dangerous. I'll have someone send you a tree for your office."

"But…Cate-"

"Don't use that name in public!"

"Sorry." Dodo looked around, afraid to say the Hospital of Dreams was hardly public.

"If there's nothing else." Caterpillar took another long puff. "Go back through the tunnels and make sure no one sees you."

* * *

Hatter sauntered in and plopped down in the chair across from the big desk. With a sigh he put his feet up on a short stack of books on the edge of the desk.

Dodo glared and knocked Hatter's feet down. "Show some respect."

Hatter grinned and tipped his hat back a bit. This should be fun. Poking a caged possum with a stick. He laughed out loud.

"Here's how this is gonna work." Hatter picked up a book and flipped through it. "I'll send you a message, you'll send someone with my cut, and he can look over the goods." He'd read this one. "If you want them delivered, that'll be extra."

"If you had any common decency, you'd supply us for free." Dodo snatched the book out of Hatter's hand and laid it carefully back on his desk. "Leave the books alone. What'd you know about books."

"Free? Nothing's free." Hatter shook his head. "I have expenses… cost of goods, bribes…that sort of thing."

"You should be thankful, you're being allowed this chance to work against the Queen. But, oh, you probably love the Queen and her degenerate methods."

Hatter looked up at him and Dodo blinked at the look of hatred in his eyes. "No." He said softly. "I might take a job for her, I might take a job for you…but I work for me. I don't love anybody."

"Damn you! We don't need your help!" Dodo shouted slamming his fist down on his desk causing everything to jump. "You're despicable!"

"Then starve. " Hatter shrugged. "It's all the same to me."

Dodo fumed. He was trapped and he knew it. "Fine. We'll do it your way. For now."

"Figured you see it my way." Hatter stood to go. "I'm not in this for my health. I don't get involved in lost causes."

"One of these days…" Dodo trailed off. "You'll get what's coming to you."

"Maybe so, but it won't be from you, old man." Hatter laughed.

"It sickens me to have to deal with you." Dodo said vehemently. "I hate you!"

"Yeah? Ain't life grand?" Hatter grinned and walked to the door. "How's Elly?"

* * *

_AN: Dodo really hated Hatter, resented him. Seemed a lot more going on than just Dodo dealing with a two-faced con. Dodo was full of rage and didn't hesitate to shoot Hatter. He really enjoyed beating the crap out of him in the corridor. Didn't seem to be too much in control… I mean, come on, Duck and Owl? Two very incompetent lieutenants. _

_For Elly's story...see A Dish Served Cold _

_Sorry this one is so short. Hope you like it. Please R&R_


	15. Chapter 15

_AN: Warning Rated M for some slash content mentioned, nothing graphic, just a kiss._

Pages from Hatters Notebook

_**Alice – they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I meant well. Rufe is the way he is because of me, I brought him to Court and introduced him to the decadent lifestyle. I'm glad he never saw me in the Tea Shop, he'd be appalled at how far down that road I went.**_

**The Road to Hell**

/

When she was 15 her parents died and the Queen made her an offer she couldn't refuse. Be Jack's best friend and eventual wife, report back to her everything he said and did or be tossed out of the Court to fend for herself. "You're not bad looking." The Queen said grudgingly, "I'm sure you can find some man to take you in."

Not trusting in her agreement, the Queen sent Duchess to the doctors to make certain. "I want her to obey me, to be the perfect spy. She has to be able to captivate Jack, make him do what she wants. Oh, and most importantly, she must never fall in love, that would divide her loyalty to me." It never occurred to her to send Jack to the doctors.

After the first session, late that night when the Queen was asleep and the King was walking in the garden enjoying his last cigar of the day, he found her crying under a tree. (Even at that age, she did not sob, did not allow her face to get red and splotchy.) He held her in his arms and comforted the child, wiped her tears and took her back to her rooms and tucked her into bed, kissing her forehead like her father did when she was a little. This soon became a ritual, their own little secret.

He started bringing her little gifts, cookies, a chocolate bar, cream cakes.

When she was sixteen, no one remembered. Duchess waited all day for someone, anyone to wish her Happy Birthday. She sat in the garden alone, remembering all her birthdays as a child, the gifts she got, the parties, the wonderful cakes. She came to the conclusion that those must be childish things and she was too old for that now. She watched the day end and night begin, watched the lights come out and move across the sky.

It was very late when the King found her, almost dawn. She'd fallen asleep on one of the stone benches, murmuring sleepily when he whispered her name and touched her arm. He laughed and she sat up in surprise, rubbing her arms at the chill. He'd brought her a tiny cream cake and wished her Happy Birthday, sitting beside her on the bench. She laughed and held the cream cake, not wanting to eat it, to ruin the moment.

"Here now." He said dipping a finger in the icing and licking it off. "Cream cakes, birthday cakes, are meant to be shared." He reached for the cake again and she pulled it out of his reach. "It's my birthday, I should get the first bite." She smiled running her finger through the icing and sucking her whole finger in her mouth, closing her eyes in delight.

"It has to be our secret." The King whispered. There were Suits around, there were always Suits, but none of them were brave enough or stupid enough to go the Queen with this information. No matter what _she_ said, _he_ was their King. He pulled a little gilt wrapped package out of his pocket. "This is for you." He held it out awkwardly. She smiled up at him and sat the cream cake down. "Really? For me?" She laughed and ripped the paper open. Inside a gold bangle gleamed in the dim light. She looked up at him with wide eyes and slid it over her wrist, turning it back and forth to catch the light.

That night when he walked her back to her rooms and bent to kiss her forehead, she tipped her head back and he brushed her lips instead. He held her shoulders and pushed her back, searching her eyes. It's not like you haven't been thinking about it." She whispered. "I know you want me." She twined her arms around his, stroking them. "It's not that easy." He shook his head, thinking of the Queen.

"It can be." She smiled, testing the things the doctors had put in her head. What was the use of knowledge if you didn't use it? He bit his lip, it was true he wanted her, who wouldn't, she was young and beautiful and clearly wanted him. Was she worth his head? He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, her first kiss he thought. She opened her mouth to him, sliding her arms around him under his coat. He was a much better kisser than Jack, she thought, he'd be a better lover too.

"Not tonight." He whispered in her hair, hands roaming across her back. "The next time the Queen visits a Tea Seller. Then we can take our time and do it right." She pouted up at him and nodded. She had no fondness for being taken quickly, up against the wall or thrown down on her bed. She watched him go, quietly shutting her door behind him and turned back to finish her cream cake, a smile playing on her lips.

After that, he occasionally brought her little gifts, more bangles, gold earrings, fingernail polish, a sliver mirror. When the Queen demanded a report on Jack, she would stand there tall and regal, head bent respectfully and twist the bangles on her arm with a smile.

When she was seventeen, the King gave her a pair of four inch sandals. He took her to the throne room and she stripped down and put the sandals on. He sat on the Queen's chair and she knelt before him, opening his velvet pants. He prided himself on being an excellent teacher, she sucked him like she did everything else, gracefully. Of course, he thought, while he was still capable of thought, she was a quick learner, she was meant for this, meant to please a man. Not like some other people he could name.

After he came, she licked him clean and tucked him back into his velvet pants. When his breathing slowed they exchanged places. She sat back on the Queen's chair, scooting to the edge, bending her legs up and put the heels on his shoulders while he knelt before her. She made all the appropriate noises, coming quickly. She liked this way best, no hot and sweaty bodies pushing at her, very little mess.

When she was eighteen and the other girls her age were married, she broached the subject to the Queen. "No." The Queen dismissed the idea. "Not yet. He's up to something. Find out what it is." Out of boredom she widened her scope. In her head she kept tally of the men around her, who was the best kisser, the best lover, who could make her come the quickest, who had the biggest cock, who could get her what she wanted. She always made time for the King, he had the most power and most importantly, it was her way of getting even with the Queen. Besides, she was genuinely fond of him, he'd been kind to her from the beginning without asking anything in return.

/

When Hatter had been at Court for several months, he brought Rufe there to live. He warned him repeatedly to stay away from the Queen and the inner Court. "You'll get yourself killed." He said. "Stay out on the edges like me, and it's a good easy life." Rufe had no trouble finding a lover or two or three that kept him entertained and he soaked up the knowledge, getting quite an education and reputation. Unfortunately he came under the scrutiny of a particularly nasty Club, Seven, who was an old hand at manipulating people to get what he wanted and right now there was nothing he wanted more than Rufe, the pretty boy.

Hatter realized what was going on one afternoon when he saw them talking in a corridor. They were standing close and at first Hatter thought Rufe was talking secrets, everyone knew Seven dealt in secrets. Hatter's fist clenched as Seven reached up and slid his hand around Rufe's neck and pulled him close. Rufe stiffened for a moment and Seven tilted his head and Hatter watched the tension and stiffness melt and Rufe allowed himself to be tugged closer. His mouth fell open when Rufe didn't pull away, didn't hit Seven, didn't cut Seven in pieces with one of the knifes Hatter knew he had hidden on him, but instead submitted, accepting the kiss, even prolonging it. It was all he could do not to smash a hole in the stucco wall or Seven or Rufe or all of the above.

Hatter waited till Seven walked past him, glancing at him with a smirk. He turned and waited till Seven was out of sight. Then he ran after Rufe and grabbed his arm. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" He shouted.

Rufe lost his grin and looked away. Hatter looked around and jerked him into the first room with an open door. "What the bloody hell was that!" Hatter growled, shaking Rufe like a rat.

Rufe jerked his arm away and shouted back at Hatter. "That's me saving your ass. Again." He ran his hands through his hair and turned away. Hatter jerked him back around. "Don't give me that shit! I saw him! You stood there letting him kiss you like he owned you!"

Hatter turned away in disgust. Jerked his hat off and crushed it without thinking. "March will kill you." Shrugged his shoulders. "Blimey, I might kill you meself."

"Look." Rufe touched his shoulder, but Hatter jerked away. "He has info on you about dealing with the Resistance. He said…I.. Oh, fuck Hatter. I was trying to keep you alive." Rufe said plaintively.

Hatter turned on his heel and took Rufe by both shoulders. "Look kid, I don't need protecting. You don't, ever, ever, never pay up to a blackmailer. It never ends. Yeah?"

"But Hatter…" Rufe started.

"Never, ever. You should've come to me."

"I'm not a child. I can handle…" Rufe frowned jerking away from Hatter.

"You can't …obviously." Hatter put his hat back on and stuffed hands in his pockets to keep from hitting Rufe, from hitting something. "How could you let him touch you… did he fuck you?" Hatter looked at him in shock, not sure he wanted to know.

"It's not so bad." Rufe shrugged, then grinned. "It's …. different…he's very good, he makes me feel-"

"I don't give a fuck how he makes you feel!" Hatter screamed. "I don't wanna bloody fucking hear about it!"

"Hatter, if you'd just listen—"

"Fuck no! You submitted to him. That…" Hatter shook his head, at a loss for words. "When I think of all the times March protected us…when I saved your sorry ass from the Queen's agents… what the fuck did I do all that for?"

"Hatter! Shut up and listen to me!" Rufe grabbed his arm. "I did what I had to."

Hatter shook his head and turned away. "How long has this been going on?" He asked trying to calm himself. "What exactly does he know?"

"Seven … knows things. Deals in information." Rufe shrugged. "I've gotten us some good Black market contacts from him."

Hatter turned back at Rufe in surprise. "You got our contacts from him? From Seven?"

Rufe nodded not understanding why Hatter was upset all over again.

"You idiot! You fucking idiot!" Hatter slammed his fist into the wall. "Those contacts are compromised! He's probably blackmailing them too!"

"But he already had information on you…" Rufe tried to explain.

"Ok. I'll deal with this." Hatter took Rufe by the shoulders and looked him in the eye. "You go now, today, this minute. Go down to the Barrens and stay with Dormie and the boys."

Rufe started to shake his head, but Hatter interrupted before he could open his mouth. "You do what I tell you to. Go now. And don't come back till I send for you."

"But Hatter… I can help!"

"Go!" Hatter shook him slightly. "Yeah? You're gonna help me kill your lover? Help me dispose of his body?" Hatter let go of Rufe, an arrested look on his face. "You're not in love with him are you?" He asked shortly.

"No." Rufe shook his head. "It's not like that. It's just sex. Just a little sex to save your ass."

"Don't start that again. I can save me own ass."

"He's dangerous Hatter." Rufe warned. "He likes to hurt people. He gets off on having power over people and making them do…things."

"Dangerous? Let me tell you about dangerous." Hatter poked a finger in Rufe's chest. "There is no one alive more dangerous than March. If he wants you dead, you're dead. If he wasn't off on some mission, I'd let him cut Seven up in tiny little pieces. You know how long March can cut someone and keep them alive? A long fucking time."

"I know that. But Seven is dangerous in a different way. He..uses people, uses knowledge to destroy them." Rufe tried to explain.

"Look at me, Rufe." Hatter commanded, his face only inches from Rufe's. "I can't fight like March or you, I can't use a knife like you can." He shook his head. "Words are me weapon of choice. Words will take him down. He'll be dead within the week. I promise."

"He keeps records, you'll be caught. NO, Hatter you mustn't!" Rufe argued.

"He will be dead." Hatter took a deep breath. "And none of it will come back to you or me." He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "Go on now, I'll send for you when it's done." He said gently. "Next time, come to me, yeah?" Clapped his hand on Rufe's shoulder.

Rufe nodded and they each went a different direction in the corridor.

/

"So, Hatter, is it?" Seven looked bored. "I hear you have some information you want to trade?"

Hatter carefully kept emotion off his face. "Something like that." Looked around at the others watching them.

"Walk with me." Seven started walking down the garden path without waiting to see if Hatter followed. He stopped under a tree, out of the line of sight of most of the people in the garden.

"Now, what can I do for you?" Seven twisted his lips.

"It's what I can do for you." Hatter said. "Leave Rufe alone, leave me alone and I'll let you live. If not, I promise you death."

Seven burst out laughing. He laughed so hard he couldn't talk and tears filled his eyes. Hatter stood there impassively looking at him.

"Oh my boy, Oh really that was funny!" Seven wiped his eyes, still chuckling. "oooooo"

"I'm serious. Touch Rufe again and you're a dead man. Just remember this conversation. Yeah?"

"Oh, Oh I see." He said playfully, poking his finger in Hatter's chest. "You're jealous! Did he used to be yours?"

Hatter grabbed his hand and held it tight in his right. "Keep your filthy hands off me."

"Now my boy," Seven tried to tug his hand free. "I do know who you are, I know lots of things about you. Rufe was willing to trade for my silence, but I like your spunk."

"You disgust me." Hatter shook his head. "Filthy pervert."

"Now. Now." Seven shook his head. "No name calling. Do you know who I am? I think, yes I really do think I'll have you both at once." Seven sneered. "Or certain information will make it to the right ears." He laughed and ran one finger across his neck.

"That's no' gonna happen." Hatter shook his head. "How about I trade you a secret for Rufe's freedom?"

"Depends on the secret?" Seven considered. Rufe was no fun after he gave in. He quivered at the thought of the fight Hatter would put up. He'd have to force him each time. He'd take this information and then take Hatter. Seven looked forward to owning him.

Hatter looked around and then leaned into whisper into Seven's ear. "This is something special. You could use it to get ahead. It's worth a great deal. Worth more than one pretty boy."

"I'll tell you the value of the information." Seven said impatiently. "Tell me."

"The King is fucking Duchess." Hatter whispered softly.

Seven gasped and jerked around to look Hatter in the eyes. "This is true?" He asked in disbelief. Oh, if this were true…..

"Yup. Worth Rufe's freedom?" Hatter snickered.

"If true, quite possibly. I will have to verify. I'll let you know." Seven rushed away, thinking furiously.

Hatter watched him go, smirk on his face. Goodbye sucker.

/

"May I cut in?" Hatter stood beside the Duchess and some guy he'd never seen before. They turned to look at him, the guy had no intention of stopping, but Duchess stopped and dropped her arms. The guy clicked his heels and walked away, anger clearly written on his face.

Duchess put her hand in his and he pulled her into his arms. Duchess was curious about Hatter, he was one who hadn't lined up to offer himself, one of the few.

"You're looking very beautiful." He smiled at her. She bent her head and said nothing, studying him up close. He was rough around the edges, but sometimes those kind made the best lovers

"I've brought you a gift." He said softly, turning her away from the crowd.

"Yes?' She said moving a little closer to him, she liked gifts.

He laughed and shook his head. "Not that kind, sorry." Looked at her pout and wondered why any man would waste his time on this doll. She wasn't real, nothing about her was real.

"What then?" She finally asked when he said nothing.

"Are you familiar with Seven? A rather….creepy Club?" He asked in a low voice.

"Yes, I think so." She frowned. How on earth was this a gift.

"He's been bragging about seeing you and the King. Doing …things." He shrugged.

Duchess stiffened in his arms and he let the tiniest smile play across his face. He hadn't been sure, just a feeling he got when he'd seen them together.

"Thought you might want to know." Smiled innocently at her and they finished the dance in silence.

/

"Majesty?" Seven said coyly. "I've come into some information I'd like to trade." Seven sidled up to the King after a meeting. The others looked at them and walked on. The Queen had left first, eager to be anywhere else. Ten stayed close enough to see if the King gestured to him, but he didn't want to get mixed up with Seven. That would be suicide.

In the past, the King had traded favors for information from Seven and he'd no reason to expect anything differently today. The King looked down his nose and pursed his lips. "This information," He said softly. "Wouldn't have anything to do with Duchess would it?"

Seven nodded eagerly, anticipating all the good things he could wrangle out of the King. Why he might even be promoted to Eight or Nine. He slid a glance down to Ten. Yes, maybe even Ten. Why not?

"No one needs to know." He smirked at the King. "Especially the Queen."

The King looked at him and nodded slowly. "Ten!" He waved Ten towards him. Ten rushed up, robes swirling around him.

"Yes Majesty." Ten dipped his head in a quick bow.

"Remember that Club that's going to be executed tomorrow?" The King waved to some Suits, just out of earshot. They walked over quickly.

"Yes, Majesty." Ten answered. He was a good kid, too bad.

"Set him free and take Seven here in his place." The King nodded to the Suits who grabbed Seven and started to drag him screaming away.

"The Queen is taking a nap, if she is were to wake up, there might be some Suits executed tomorrow as well." The King called after them. The Suits looked at each other and quickly knocked Seven unconscious.

"Majesty?" Ten said slowly, controlling his voice, keeping all traces of glee hidden. Seven had finally bitten off more than he could chew. Trying to blackmail the King! What a fool.

"Go make sure nothing goes wrong."

"But, Majesty…it's the wrong Club" Ten looked at the King.

"Oh." The King waved, turning away. "She'll never notice the difference."

/

_AN: I think the King protested too much in the show when he was defending Duchess. And she was careful not to look at him, just that one glance. Guilt was all over his face. Queen or no, a King takes what he wants. And I figure the Queen did all she could to mold Duchess into her perfect tool never realizing she'd probably created a monster. A soft, beautiful, vain monster with a fondness for shiny things. lol_


	16. Chapter 16

_**AN: Warning: Rated M for dark themes, torture and blood.**_

_**/**_

_**Alice—One of the duties of running a Tea Shop was providing live bodies for the Queen. Outcasts, the unwanted, tea heads too far gone to be of further use at parties, suspected Resistance agents, even the occasional enemy that needed to disappear. No one knew what happened to them, no one cared.**_

_**/**_

Pages from Hatter's Notebook

/

**Stone Cold**

/

It was the best thing that ever happened to me, getting accepted into the Queen's training program. If I was good enough, I could even make it to assassin level. Top of the cream, that's something. Something for a kid from down in the barrens.

I'd never had nothing, lived from day to day. Running herd on a pack of boys—my crew. Taught them tricks of the trade, how to beg, dip, scavenge and anything else to stay alive. Taught them how to survive. March's crew—gang of ragtag boys from down in the barrens. All except one, the little, rich kid. The one who didn't belong.

The only thing I'd ever loved—one dark-haired boy who never failed to look up to me with complete trust in his dark eyes. So smart and yet so dumb at the same time. Couldn't beat the innocence out of him.

Met a girl called Jilly, a wild thing with flashing eyes. She made my heart beat fast and I wanted her. Would have her no matter the cost.

/

Mandatory visits to Doctors Dee and Dum. Guaranteed to make you a better man.

"We shall make you an artist." They promised. "Your name will become a household word. Feared and admired by all."

After a few visits, they brought in live subjects. Showed me where to touch to make them scream, where to touch when I wanted silence. How far the knife could go in again and again without killing. How to avoid vital organs and keep them alive, begging for death.

The first was an old man, a tea head, lost to reality long ago. When the knife kissed his face he screamed. The blood trickled down into deep wrinkles, red rivers running to fill his screaming mouth, dyeing his scruffy beard red to drip, drip, drip on his dirty bare feet. A scream was not the song I wanted to hear. If you cut to deep, too soon, they can't sing at all.

Men are actually easier to get to sing, they have more sensitive parts. Parts you can nail to the tree and you don't even have to tie them. And if they have the fortitude to rip free, well there's always a knife through the soft spot just above the wrist and into the tree. None of mine ever pulled free from that.

They can sing without their eyes, oozing dark holes of madness blindly seeking the light that never comes. Cut the scalp and the blood runs into the empty wells to fill and overflow again and again. But you want to wait till the tears are finished. Tears mix with the blood and you have a whole new color to paint with.

The next was just a girl, she couldn't have been too much older than me. They let her loose so I could catch her. She screamed and fought, scratched me with her nails. Ripped them out one by one after I staked to the tree. She had beautiful red hair, I wanted to scalp her and keep it, but they wouldn't let me. She had information they wanted and they wanted it quick. They wouldn't even let me play with her at first.

Her skin was so soft and creamy, I thought about skinning her and making something out of it, but again, the Queen was in a hurry. They said I could play with her when they had their information. She didn't live long after that. I don't do corpses. I want to feel the fight, want them to know who killed them.

The body holds 12 pints of blood. You can lose 4 and still live. Four takes a long time, one drop at a time.

The Queen would often come and oversee my training. I think she likes me. She's one scary bitch though. One sick old cow.

The Queen kept interrupting, "No, no. The knife is not a weapon, not a tool. It's the extension of your hand, just like your fingers. Use it to caress, to make love to your subject. Go slowly, never rush, never hurry. The object is not to kill. You must learn to keep them alive. You must learn patience"

"You are a painter, skin is your canvass, the knife your brush and blood is your paint. Each painting is different and lovely."

"You will learn to see what the painting should be before you start, learn how to make it come into being. The strokes, the touches needed to make it sing."

"You will be told the answers you need to listen for, what song we want to hear. You will be given questions, prompts if the subject is reluctant."

"There will be interrogation and straight kills. There will be retrievals and hostages."

"You will study your subject and learn who or what is best used to persuade them."

"You will take your orders from me."

"You will learn to make your own knives, and if necessary, how to use anything at hand as a knife or weapon. Nothing cuts like a broken piece of glass."

"You will learn to defend yourself, to take on men twice your size and break them."

"You will learn to move though the night, like the wind. The only sound, blood hitting the ground and you'll be gone before that."

"Once you graduate, we will send you out to hunt. You will be given skills to help you locate and persuade. Knowledge will be implanted directly in your mind."

"You will learn to kill, to kill, to kill, to kill. TO KILL."

/

They were right about the knowledge, soon I just _knew_. It was like Hatter's teaching machine only quicker.

Soon I could hear the whispers no matter where I was. Kill, KILL, KILL. They kept tune with the pounding.

Eventually, even the injections didn't hurt anymore. Nothing hurt anymore. I had learned to cut, to slice to create a masterpiece.

/

_AN: It's not my fault. Talk to Alaina Downs, she led me down this dark path and then left me all alone with March._


End file.
